♥ It doesn't last forever.

.Friday, July 31, 2009 ' 8:13 AM

Readers (; I'm finally back. Due to the stupid blog don't know what's wrong with it.
alright, stop my craps and start to post about today's stuff.
did not went to school as i was really lazy larhs, wanted to sleep more ;x
woke up at 10plus watch television, eat and bathe.
went to meet Leelim' dar, Jubellina' Mummy and stupid Meiling ;D
chatted and joke around with each other until 2plus, baby came to look for me.
so went off with him and Leelim to Peiwen' boyf der void deck.
Meet her, Zhenyuan, Jastine. Walked to Poineer mrt, took mrt to orchard.

super funny larhs (; and of course it had been a long time i last enjoyed this fun.

the moment we reached orchard we went to have our lunch at Mac.
went LV shop, what the hell. The things was expensive than what i thought!
Wallets, Belts, Bags, Clothes & Shoe. Hell note, can made me gone crazy okay.
i really loved LV so much larhs. How I wish I am born with a golden spoon D;

went far east to walk and shop around, saw a cute doreamon shirt he wore bruce lee
shirt, baby loved it so much. But it's expensive i'll try to buy it for him if there's still stock.
walked few rounds in far east and decided to leave orchard.
as baby got urgent things to attend at home, craps in mrt and talked so loudly la.
so fun man (; reached Jurong Point, baby rushed home already.
walked and craps around in Jurong Point, but mind was worrying about baby.
after shopping we decided to slack, walked to Peiwen' boyf house from Jurong Point.
chatted and slacked on the way back (; meet hanhui then slacked awhile at her house.
went poineer mall cause stupid Hanhui want eat dessert, went home after that.
12am plus now, Peiwen' boyf just reached my house not long. Tonning at my house tonight.
okay, got to go lerhs. Post again if needed.

♥ baby.
I am not a good girlfriend to Yous, thanks for enduring my attitude.
now that Yous are stress up but i cannot do anything to helped Yous.
so sorry uh D; your family problem i cannot really helped much.
anyway, stay strong when your family needed Yous the most.
Yous really made me worried for the whole day.
i love Yous, muacks (;
baby whale ♥ sandwich baby!

Everyone buck up on studies! (;
JiaYous! Enjoy our holiday after examination!
wee woo wee.

308 days,
we had spent together.

.Sunday, July 26, 2009 ' 5:38 AM

Happy 10 Month Anniversary To Baby And I (:

today i woke up super duper late, finish everything and watched tv
daddy and i accompany meimei down for riding her favourite bicycle,
after 45 min we came up bathe & prepared, went to Jurong Point.
accompany parents to buy their groceries until 6plus, went Taman Jurong for dinner.
went home after that, oh yeah. Today daddy shared with me a lot of things too (:
daddy, don't worry i will remember and take note everything Yous had said!

♥ Baby.
Did Yous contact me often today?
i don't see why we had ended up this way.
our 10month but Yous don't seems to bothered at all.
what happen to us? If Yous wanna us remain like that? So be it.
i don't know how long can we still be together? Possible to reach 11 month?
everything is your hands, i don't wish to care anymore.
i am waiting for your phone calls, till now 9.51pm not even a single call yet!
i won't wait and i mean it.

my patience had reached limit.
Yous didn't settle it, how Yous expect me to trust Yous?
from the day i found out dishonest things from Yous, i've already lost
confident and trust on Yous. I don't mind telling Yous this facts.

303 days,
we had spent together.

.Saturday, July 25, 2009 ' 9:56 AM

Happy 16th Birthday To Shanting (:

went for leg treatment in the morning,
it was really so bloody bloody pain larhs (: but i endured.
then the doctor even said that i am so strong larhs.
while other people went back with tears, i was quite proud of it :x
went lunch and home for tuition already, hanhui explained alot of things to me.
and i really felt that what he said is definitely correct.
i will continue study until N level end and i will play as much as i like.

after tuition went to bathe and prepared.
used maple for awhile and went downstair to meet Jastine and Cynthia.
Hanhui left, baby came then Peiwen, Leelim, Shanting & Zhenyuan too.
walked to Shanting's house, slacked chit chat and so.
was about to play flour, Jubellina called. Cab down to Jurong Point
with Cynthia to pei Jubellina chit chat but the taxi fare she paid :x
went to buy a small cake and off to meet them again, thrown at Shanting's face!
flour throwing starts, everyone was so white larhs.
went back shanting's house to clean ourself up, ate and blow cake.
slacked and went down again to play while i was just looking at them due to
serious headache uh, D; sigh!
Went back Shanting's house for awhile and left, baby accompany me home.
asked daddy to drive him back, i don't want him to bus home alone.
reached home at 12am and it was baby and i derhs 10 month anniversary but? D;

♥ baby.
when is the last time Yous last viewed my blog?
when is the last time Yous sent me a goodnight msg?
when is the last time Yous last called me and chat for a long time?
baby, does all this showed that our love had changed?
are we fading with each other? haish!
no matter what, i want Yous to takecare of yourself.
drink more water and take your medicine if Yous are unwell.
if i am beside Yous, i will takecare of Yous derhs.
Yous must be sleeping soundly now, goodnights!

there is no such words as 'loved'.
love has no past tense.
if Yous ever stop loving someone,
then Yous never truly loved them in the first place.

302 days,
we had spent together.

.Wednesday, July 22, 2009 ' 7:39 AM

meet peiwen' boyf in the morning (: as usual went school together.
had a small quarrel with baby,
but during recess time we recovered with each other.
whole day was quite boring larhs,
during life skill miss nada was talking to us
and i accidentally fall asleep ;x
when they are prepare to go i'm still sleeping
but i heard chair's sound i quickly jumped up!
went leelim' dar's house watch movie and went jurong point after that (:
shopped until 6plus, baby bus home with me. He went home after that!

♥ baby.
Yous neglected me, but Yous assume that Yous did not?
Haish.
it's okayy, anyway after 5 months Yous are leaving jurong.
it will be hard time for us to be together already,
i don't know what more can i still do.
5 months more being together,
i believe it will be a miserable relationship.

if this is the fate that we are gonna face,
so be it i cannot change the facts.

299 days,
we had spent together.

.Sunday, July 19, 2009 ' 7:57 AM

daddy brought us to 日本春 to have sushi in the afternoon.
mood wasn't good, and i just ate little only. Haish D:
what made me really in this low mood? I am feeling so stress now.
went Queensway, bought fbt clothes, short and a slippers.
went Clementi to walk for awhile and had our dinner,
daddy drove cousin home and home sweet home after that.
short post for today, i simply have no more mood to continue!

♥ nameless!
Yous are the reason that made me sad and bad mood,
Yous simply don't understand how much Yous mean to me.
i think Yous no longer need me, and so be it.
i'll leave everything aside from today onwards,
if Yous don't even bother to call me i won't call Yous. Auto?
i've already been very auto, how about Yous?
This relationship was simply too hard to continue, i'm so tired already!
how many times i've been saying i'm tired? This time is real already.
whether to continue, Yous will do the decision.

both parties step into a relationship,
does it mean that we've been together for a long time,
it showed that we doesn't need to contact each other anymore?
if this isn't the true, then proof me wrong!

296 days,
we had spent together.

.Saturday, July 18, 2009 ' 10:09 AM

had tuition in the morning until 2pm, went to bathe at 3plus.
went out at about 4plus. Meet Peiwen' boyf and Leelim downstairs.
and then meet baby at the bus stop, chatted awhile and went to wave for cab?
almost all taxi refused to drive us due to too many people.
in the end, a uncle quite good la. Decided to drive us (:
went there, Leelim' dar, Peiwen' boyf and i just step into the pool's place and
we leave that place. Lol, slacking at burger king with our handphone's games
then decided to have our dinner at taman jurong, then left Hanhui and baby there.
went to enjoyed our dinner, super nice la.
then meet Hanhui and baby at jurong point, shopped for awhile and bus
to poineer mall to have dessert, chatted awhile and all left.

reached house downstairs, saw mommy.
she was on the way to fetch meimei from school (:
so baby and i accompany her, lol. i almost fell down baby was only laughing.
eek, i don't understand why don't he helped me? haish.
bid goodbye to baby after fetching my meimei.
reached home, kfc for supper ;x fat for sure, and i bought sushi for family.
that's all, i go maple lerhs. Awhile more i'm sleeping already.
so damn tired larhs. Nights readers!

♥ baby.
now Yous did not even bother to call me,
when Yous reached home, not even a message.
Yous had changed, Yous told me Yous wanted change to the better?
but, Yous did not!
baby, tell me how can i tell Yous that i love Yous more than myself?
computer and handphone's games are important than me.
i gonna close my eyes to protect me,
can Yous release my hand and leave me here?
i did not want to suffer any longer, the hole in my heart broke even bigger.
i've given up my life and i've suffered enough!

fixing a broken heart,
no matter how it will never be mend.

295 days,
we had spent together.

.Friday, July 17, 2009 ' 8:16 AM

finally went school today, eek. Stupid bad boyf!
in the morning came to meet me and lied to me that she have a feeling
that my 2nd floor have ghost, shit her! I force her to come up and fetch me down.
who asked her to scared me with that? Bus down to school together,
meet Leelim' Dar outside school, then went canteen.
Jastine' Darling came and then baby. Went back class, so sian D;
today whole day no study ley, so good uh.
teacher all did not come. Slept, chatted and talked cock in class.
super shiok la.

after school Leelim' dar house again.
watched ghost movie and then bus down to poineer mall
to have our lunch at mac, shared with Peiwen' boyf.
went her house until 7plus pm and home! Bathe plus eat until 8.30pm.
then tuition from Hanhui again until 10 (: now blogging over here le.
his playing my laptop, so i am using my sister's computer.
cannot maple ley, so bored now D; sigh! tomorrow morning tuition again!
oh ya alot people wanna eat pig's leg, they wanted to eat mine?
because my ankle was wrapped up it looks indeed like pig's leg!

♥ baby.
Yous promised me Yous will solve that problem?
till now, Yous did not.
i do not know when Yous will solve it la.
but i have limited time in heart already.
sigh!

world are full of suffering,
each day passes, my heart get weaker.

294 days,
we had spent together.

.Thursday, July 16, 2009 ' 8:01 AM

Happy Birthday To Dearest Daddy (:

too bad i don't have my father's photo, i'll get it as soon as possible from him.
anyway, nothing much. Did not attend school, due to leg injuries.
went to Leelim' dar house to wait for them to come back.
meet Peiwen, Jastine and Leelim. Baby came and then Zhenyuan.
Jastine' darling went home and the rest of us went baby's house.
slacked at his home, super boring uh. Pathetic us sharing cup noodles.
wait baby bathe finish, we bus down to jurong point to meet Hanhui.
went to long john to have our lunch, went to buy cake and then daddy's present.
went home after that, Hanhui and baby came home with me.
While the rest went home lerhs? Because daddy invited Hanhui and baby
for dinner together, went taman jurong there. The food was like oh my god!
did not even wish to elaborated about it, sigh!

went seng song after that, baby bullying me again and again.
bad bad, nevermind. Then after that all came back to my house again.
Hanhui and baby cool? Playing computer as if it is their house?
blow daddy's birthday cake! (: can see that daddy really enjoyed.
the cake was like oh my god too, the mango was so sour. Eek!
daddy drived them home at about 11plus pm.
slept at 1am ley D; my panda eyes now even worst uh.

♥ baby.
this is the first time Yous joined my family for dinner,
it might be happy and Yous did disappointed me too.
perhaps Yous will change and maybe Yous will not?
i do not know, things are under controlled by Yous.
see how it goes okay?

will this stay forever?
or will the situation be changed?

293 days,
we had spent together.

.Wednesday, July 15, 2009 ' 7:35 AM

was boring in school larhs, whole day worrying about what is going to
happen for my N level oral. Lesson as usual, Evon went home due to her high fever.
Left Jubellina and i in class, that Meiling don't know what is wrong with her?
Did not attend school leh, bad girl. in the afternoon finally N level oral reached,
something then happened. hais, i fell down from the stairs.
I am feeling so embarrassing larhs.
thanks Miss Nada and Jubellina for helping me up.
thanks Chingyen for finding back my entry proof,
if not i may not take my oral (: waiting for my turn to take oral in the hall,
Miss Nada went to called my father to fetch me after my oral examination.

overall oral was okay, but when the examiner asked some question.
my mind was like simply blank, i just anyhow spill sentence out ;x
hopefully i just pass i am happy with it already (:
daddy is waiting me at the basketball court to drive me home.
thanks Jastine, Peiwen, Leelim & baby for escorting me to my father's side.
bid goodbye to them, daddy brought me to boon lay to have a check on my leg.
now it swelled like pig leg, what the fuck. so bloody pain now D; stupid entry proof,
was to anxious to find it and it causes myself a pig leg. Sigh!
Dumb dumb, nevermind. this few days i am quite unlucky uh?
I believe the fate will change ;D
anyway ytd i mentioned that problem had solved with that girl, it's okay now.

♥ baby.
today Yous said a little word that made me really happy,
in the morning i told Yous i am worried for my oral.
Yous replied and said ' don't scare, your baby is here for Yous '
i'm simply too happy to see this text, thanks baby (:
it had been a long time i last told Yous i love Yous.
now i am going to said it again, sandwich baby i really love Yous.
thanks for accepting me for being a bad girlfriend <3

i am going to work hard for my ' n ' level,
i do not want to disappoint those who supported and
encouraging me behind. ;D

292 days,
we had spent together.

.Tuesday, July 14, 2009 ' 7:05 AM

we are once close, but Yous just treat it never happened before.
i simply hate all of those who talk craps behind my back or what fuck.
i believed god have eyes, those people will definitely get retribution.
if Yous think that your friends are lots? Go ahead and complain about other people's
badwords and so, you are simply nothing but a bitchy right?
so what if we are once close? The way Yous talked are simply too straight forward.
and if Yous think that your attitude behave this way gossip behind like auntie?
Yous will never find a trustworthy friend, because Yous yourself are not.
bitchy, i'll hate Yous with all my life. And i swear!

♥ baby.
i gave Yous my attitude, i am a bitch!
i can do everything to hurt Yous, i am a bitch!
i cannot forgive Yous for what Yous had done to me, i am also a bitch!
whatever it is, it seems to be my fault. I have a fucking temper.
it causes our relationship into this state, Yous do not want to solve this problem?
we will leave it this way, because my heart simply stopped.

this world is very realistic,
without qualification Yous do not stand a place.

291 days,
we had spent together.

.Monday, July 13, 2009 ' 4:16 AM

alot of things happened today, i'm hiding and crying in a corner?
will anyone understands me? die, perhaps dying can solve my problem.
i've been struggling almost everyday.
having different problems everyday? I'm a human, i need a breathing space.
but who will standby me every 24 hours?
i need a person to be my listener ear and comforting me.
or perhaps i shouldn't had come into this school,
i shouldn't haven step into a relationship that made me stress.
i'm tired, i really wish to give up my life already. I feel that i'm hopeless.
now the time is 11.45pm yet i'm still blogging and crying infront of my computer.
english oral this coming wednesday i think i'm gonna fail,
everything i'm giving up already. Headache, aching all over.

K: Thanks for advicing me so much, i'll settle it on my own okay? Whether to continue
with this relationship anot? i'll see how it goes. Although is hard to walk with him
but i've already walked 9 month plus with him already, is hard to let go of this
relationship although it's hurting me almost everyday. If Yous don't mind i hope Yous
would write your name down and let me know Yous, thanks for concerning me (:

Y: Lol, nevermind. It's my own temper (;

Passerby: Okay, i guess Yous came across this problem too?
thanks for tagging me and telling me what to do, i won't fcukup
about it anymore. It's meaningless too, although we might not be that
close but can Yous just write your name down? To let me know who
Yous are, or perhaps we can be close one day? Loves too ((:

♥ baby.
we are struggling with this relationship,
if it is time to let go, so be it.
no point holding on and forcing ourself to be together.
if quarrels and nonsense goes on everyday.
that's not love, i hate it. And i'll never liked it.
baby, when is the last time Yous last called me baby whale?
our love will never be that sweet anymore, trust me!

thanks to those people who cared for me,
i may disappointed your one day,
but those words your've always repeating and telling me,
i'll never forget it, i can feel those warm (;
thanks guys!

290 days,
we had spent together.

.Sunday, July 12, 2009 ' 9:25 AM

went out with parents around 3plus, went gek poh as parents wanted to buy groceries.
brought all those groceries back home then daddy drove us to orchard.
wasn't much thing to shop so decided to have our dinner instead.
i wanted to have steamboat for dinner, daddy actually wanted us to eat at bugis.
but still the same reason, no parking slot available.
daddy then decided to drive us to beach road to have our steamboat.
while eating and waited for my cousin to come.
we all ate until really very full, was actually going home.
but cousin wanted to have dessert so daddy drove us to chinatown.

while eating my dessert i kept disturbing my silly mummy ;x
she's super duper cute larhhs, i keep spitting those small pearl on her.
she thrown it back at me. Super cute larhs!
on the way home chatted with baby all the way.
dumbass baby already think of our future? Crazy!

♥ baby.
as days goes by, Yous might be still not that mature.
but i don't mind, your heart are the one who made me fall in love with Yous.
baby Yous once said we will marry and grow old together.
will our promise still be fulfill? I hope it will.
i love baby boy, Xu Jian Wei ;D

Listen to every little advice people had given Yous,
it might change your life with this little of advice.

289 days,
we had spent together.

.Saturday, July 11, 2009 ' 8:22 AM

had tuition in the afternoon by hanhui again D;
learn things rather fast larhhs, so proud of myself ;x
after tuition kept walking in and out of the kitchen to find food for myself.
eat until i sibei full uh, hanhui playing computer while i'm watching television.
daddy asked him to join us for dinner in the night, he agreed.
was actually going to satay club for dinner, end up no place for parking.
wanted to have steamboat instead. It was full and no parking slot.
in the end we went ' Lao Ba Sa ' to have our dinner.
it's funny that this place doesn't have a english name uh? Laughs!

reached there, daddy ordered alot of food ley.
stingray, kang kong, hot plate tofu, butter prawn, chicken wing & satay.
made us finished with a big stomach.
hanhui poor thing, daddy ordered one more plate of rice for him.
he forced himself to finish it, his face expression? What the fuck!
chatted with him alot in my father's car larhhs, shared alot of stories too.
hanhui cheer up no matter what okay? In life there are more path to walk on.
this is just the beginning, see whether will the fact changed okay? Jiayous (;

♥ baby.
Life without Yous was fine, was okay.
It was spent aimlessly, getting through each new day.
Now that You're here, joy and pleasure i see,
Each second and minute filled with sweet ecstasy.

Cherish every moment that Yous have left
Because Yous will never know when this life will end
Cherish every moment everything that Yous do
Cherish everyone that cherish Yous.
A smile, a love, a laugh, a hug, a sigh, a cry
Cherish every moment until Yous say goodbye!

288 days,
we had spent together.

.Friday, July 10, 2009 ' 8:28 AM

school was damn boring, had social studies test in the morning.
copied copied? in the end still failed leh? Cool larhhs. I'm a genius!
nevermind skip skip, After school leelim's house again.
watched ghost movie ((: not very scary at all larhs.
after that went poineer mall derhs MacDonald.
alot of rubbish happened, really very piss off uh D; fuck.
those pain he understand me? And perhaps i don't know his pain too.
while writing this entry my tears was dropping, and i just don't know why.
i think forget it, i totally have no more mood to continue writing for today.
goodnight readers.

♥ baby.
if Yous think that i'm stubborn Yous ask yourself why will i do this?
in the past Yous will never made me worried about Yous.
but now, full of worrying. Yous made me lost trust in Yous,
so and so. Hais, i don't know what more i can still say towards Yous.
Yous told me Yous are changing, but Yous aren't.
Yous said i didn't change. Because Yous were never fair to me.
我想要说, 如果没有你 i don't know how to live on.

To the passberby ;
thanks for your advice, but i've to tell Yous.
this is my longest relationship.
it isn't easy to let go, if it was that easy.
i would have already let him go since last year.
but still thanks for advicing me of what to do.
although i'm really very stressful lerhhs,
if can, please put your name down. I would wish to know Yous (;

287 days,
we had spent together.

.Wednesday, July 8, 2009 ' 6:40 AM

the photo above was boyfriend and i, after 5 months we finally went out
alone again ;D super fun and super tired too.
kept buying things and eat for the whole day, went bugis for shopping.
boyfriend bought a shorts, slacked at bugis until sian.
went vivo instead ((: shopped and shopped.
we took our high heels out and walked with bare foot.
forget what happened larhhs, only know boyfriend spoke so loud in mrt ;x
people kept looking at us larhhs, stupid boyfriend made us so paiseh derhs.
but it's fun okay, i'm waiting for the another outing with her again ((;
i love my boyfriend, a kiss for her! Mwacks.

♥ baby.
Yous are pathetic to have a girlfriend like me.
i ruined your life isn't it? Adding on to your stress and blah blah blah.
i don't wish to do it, but Yous had force me to do so.
it's okay, we've been quarreling almost everyday.
i don't really care anymore, both of us change.
our love and this relationship will change soon, takecare.

i admitted i regret to know Yous from the start,
but i also regretted to let Yous go for the first time.
it's all simply too late.

285 days,
we had spent together.

.Sunday, July 5, 2009 ' 9:17 PM

yesterday went jurong point with baby, zhenyuan, hanhui, leelim, jastine & peiwen.
was so bored in the first place, but when we went to arena for pool.
and supper at koufu, those happiest came back again.
stupid to all of the boys. Malu themself at the koufu.
but so thanks for the jokes larhs.
chatted awhile and reached home at about 10plus pm.
bathe, used computer for awhile and i immediately slept,
cause im having a bad headache.
and my stupid dreams, i kept dream of ghost ley.
somemore it's in the toilet? what the fuck lorhhs D;
eeyeer. Scare of ghost liaos ;x

oh ya, happy belated 6th month to peiwen' boyf and zhenyuan' in' law ((:

♥ baby.
Yous wasn't Yous anymore.

why do people have big fucking mouth?
perhaps their parents gave birth to them with like that?
laughs!

282 days,
we had spent together.

.Thursday, July 2, 2009 ' 6:59 AM

Yous Fuck Off!
i really really super duper fucking hate Yous.

♥ baby.
after few more months,
our distance walking together will be even further.
whether are we going to continue, it's okay.
i made Yous dulan until Yous nearly burst like balloon,
it's okay. There are lots of girls outside.
me to Yous was just simply nothing at all, remember.
i'm just nothing.

sweetest love was changing,
after a few months.
it will never be this way anymore.

279 days,
we had spent together.

.Wednesday, July 1, 2009 ' 7:41 AM

today was so bored in school ley D;
especially mother tongue. Haish, shag!
i'm a good girl today okay ((: studying and listening in class.
after school, yesh problem came.
it takes hours to solve it, haish.
yup it's my stubborness that causes everything.
went arena, then had lunch.
president car drive pass us while we are waiting for bus.
wah, i first saw president in real life ley ((;
like so sua ku ;x lol.

accompany baby for hair cut,
thanks leelim' dar for buying me the Mr Greedy, so cute (;
i simply loved it so so so much.
went jeff's papa house with baby and jubellina' mummy came afterwards.
slacked about half an hour, baby send me home le.
alright, i'll end here larhhs.
i wanna watch the ' A Life Of Hope ' in channel 8 already ;D

♥ baby.
our quarrel seems like getting worst and worst?
haish, that's nothing more i can do.
sometimes i think i feel that Yous are selfish bahs.
only think about your own feeling?
how about my feeling then?
i'm so confused, haish. Speechless!

bastard & bitches living in this entire world.

278 days,
we had spent together.