.Sunday, March 25, 2012 ' 6:01 PM
Happy 3rd Month Anniversary
to Dearest Hunny & I.
had chalet last night with family, hunny & friends! (:parents went off after eating, whole chalet were left with 3 couples.
hunny and i, leelim + kangjie, peiwen + yaocong. Although its just one day, we really enjoyed.
full of laughter, nonsense, and jokes. How i wish we could stay there even longer.
left chalet in the morning with hunny first, as he still need to work.
reached home, packed back my things and lie on bed straight away coma.
last night only manage to fall asleep like 6am, & woke up at 8.50am.
was scared by peiwen's scream in the morning, because everyone of us overslept!
we're like suppose to wake at 7.15am, i'm like a gan chiong spider. Showered so fast!
and left with hunny, my sleeping position in MRT looked ugly, but hunny no difference.
managed to clear things up with hunny, but still i feel that scar inside my heart.
i'll still think of that incident, and everytime he texted me cold, i'll tell myself that
i don't know what is he thinking again, giving me that cold attitude with no reason.
and asking myself, maybe his feeling fade? Full of worries, but i'll know when to let go.
like i told him. I'm not sad, just disappointed that you can be influence by your friends.
it just proven us that our relationship aren't strong although we looked like.
the reason that i posted this photo, was thinking if i should cut this fringe.
wanted to change hairstyle, but ended up still cutting bangs.
maybe i'll trying cutting this fringe, hopefully it doesn't look weird.
there's so many things i wanna do, but i got no money!
wanted to get new handbag for work, put braces for my bunny teeth,
oversea with hunny & friends and a lot a lot more!!
Too bad, monthly salary not even enough for me spend and to save up.
so shouldn't mention about getting this, or that.
the life i had. My past is something that haunted me still.
but, in this life, i know what i have been. But then i met you. You my hunny love.
you held me close and made me yours, kissed your lips and then you gently whispered
"i love you hunny" and here in your arms. I know what i am and who will i be.
cause you are my future.
it's a girl thing.
Girls aren't always going to talk to you first. We don't like starting the conversation
because we like to feel like you want to talk to us. We feel like that wait was worth something.
we feel like you've waited for us like we've waited for you.
the number reason why we hate talking first is when we hate to seem needy or clingy.
cause to us, being needy and obsessive just pushes guys away. And no girls want that.
i care about you, i worry when you text differently.
i stay up late thinking what i have could said to you,
wake up early to look pretty for you.
think about what i'm gonna say to you.
i'll get a little jealous when i sees you walking around with another girl.
i'll be crying when i find out you're dating somebody else but pretend to be fine.
obviously won't show that i'm upset because i wants you to be happy.
i'm afraid that:
if you see me all the time, you'll get sick of me.
if you talk to me all the time, you'll run out of things to say.
if we do the same things all the time, you'll get bored of us.
if i'm too nice to you, you'll get advantages of me.
if i'm too mean to you, you'll drift away from me.
if someone gets your attention, you'll ignore me.
if you meet someone new, you'll leave me.
what hurts the most
is pretending it doesn't.
.Thursday, March 22, 2012 ' 3:24 PM
I am in need of a hug.
But from not just anyone,
i want one from you.
well, i'm back. Have been real busy since work and studies started.
the only time i can rest are just Saturday, Sunday.
don't wanna elaborate much about my work or studies.
just wanna make things clear to you Jie Ren.
i really really don't know what had happened to us, it's like everything happen for a reason.
i know i care too much, i control too much. That's because i really really care for you.
it's just 2 months and we ended up like that. I admitted, it really affected me like shit!
but i can swear and guarantee that i really love you, i don't use you.
i don't know who brainwashed you or stuff, but if things aren't meant to be then so be it.
as long as you're happy with your life and doing well for everything.
and still remember to go school EVERYDAY! So yah, maybe still can be friend!
i can pretend all i want that i don't care but at the end of the day,
i know i will always care. Sometimes, i tell myself that maybe i should just stop hoping.
that little piece of hope we all hold on to. Being your girl, that's all i want.
we couldn't justify the reason why we fall out of love
just as we couldn't define how we fall in love.
giving someone all of your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back.
if i can just make everything fall where it should be, i would.
if i could make life better for you, i would. But i can't.
all i can do is to let you know that mine has been better because of you.
heaven is a place
on earth with you.
.Saturday, March 3, 2012 ' 9:17 PM
Don't play hard to get,
play hard to forget.
here goes my pathetic Saturday doing nothing at home :/woke up at 3.35pm i suppose, i slept only like in the morning 6plus am.
took my lunch, watched television program till like going 6pm, then start using computer.
chatted in msn with my boyfriend and sister. Had dinner at 7plus.
oh my god, i'm really sick of having food. Everyday chicken! I don't take pork, now sick of chicken!
what's next! Fish? Then i can don't need food anymore, sick of all food already!
i don't know my sohai boyfriend went where already, went missing suddenly.
i guess no where other than on his bed, this sickening pattern never change.
let me talk about yesterday! Played basketball with Leelim & boyf.
my shooting skill still maintain (: alright home had dinner, bathe prepared.
and wait for boyfriend to end work, 11plus pm Leelim, boyf and i headed to boyfriend's void deck.
took our bicycle all and down to Jurong Bird Park hill. Although floor was slippery, but we had fun.
was fighting with boyfriend at the top hill, kaykay quite happy at least we get even closer.
headed back to Jurong Bangalah park for our supper, imagine @ 2am plus. How fat can it be?
kay well, send Leelim, boyf home then boyfriend and i spend time cycling everywhere.
reached home almost 5am. i really really had a lot of fun with them.
wow it seems like i've typed a lot. Should stop! (:
just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to,
doesn't mean they don't love you with everything they have.
people say that the bad memories cause the most pain,
but actually, it's the good ones that drive you insane.
i can't forget, but i can pretend.
am i important to you?
i've never been so scared of losing something in my life,
then again nothing in my life has ever meant as much to me as you do.
just this 2 sentence, definitely can change a girl's mood.
oh yeah! forget to add in that the job really accepted me.
the location was really far from my house, and pay really low.
but i can learn a lot of things in this job, hopefully i don't get scold like in the previous company.
gonna wake up early in the morning everyday, terrible feeling comes again.
kaykay, shall end post here for today!
i need someone that
won't give up on me.
