.Tuesday, February 28, 2012 ' 9:56 PM
What hurts the most,
was being too close.
had a small tiff with boyfriend, as usual he will text/call me first.
everything was back to normal after few hours.
well tomorrow will be my first day going school again, kinda scare.
lucky Leelim is attending this class with me or else i guess i'll be terribly dead there.
chatted with Terence in msn, ask him to help me look out for jobs.
and yes evening time he contacted me, telling me his friend looking for temp admin.
sent my resume to his friend already, hopefully this job will be a successful one.
then i won't headache about money issue, god bless me! I promise i'll work hard this time.
this few days don't even feel like stepping out of my house, there's 2 reason.
first one, i got no money to spend already! 2nd one, the sunny sun can melt me!
gonna start to work hard on everything, no more time to waste! old already.
hopefully my that boyfriend can just work hard for everything too! (:
i was the one who listened to your problems.
i was the one who actually cared about you.
i was the one who stuck around even when everyone told me to leave.
i was the one who loved you even you gave me reason not to.
i was the one who was there for you when you've no one to talk to.
i was the one who being used by you all the time, and never reject by saying no.
and i was the one who need to get my wound heal when you already start chasing other girls.
this is the lesson that i should learnt and never get history repeat.
i'm not angry, disappointed but just upset that this is the repay for everything i did.
think of something really hard you've to go through in the past.
well, you've survived it. You're alive, aren't you?
think about that the next time you're going through a really hard time
you'll pull through, you'll survive. You're strong!
your skin may tear, and your bones may break, but your soul?
your soul can never be irreversibly damaged.
have you ever felt like you were missing out on everyone and everything?
humanity around you lived and breathed in the moment,
while you were merely just a mass of matter, mainly existing like an invisible soul.
days tend to become a blurry, without anything that would separate one confusion
of chaotic thoughts from another. You consign into oblivion,
dismiss everything from your tired mind, and lose consciousness of precious memories.
you forget which day you lived in, while time simply passed by, and you didn't even noticed.
cause it's time to leave those feelings behind.
.Monday, February 27, 2012 ' 10:45 PM
Sometimes i wonder, why i even bother.
well, 2 more days which is Wednesday i'll be start schooling already.
wanted to upgrade myself but again feel boring while studying.
afraid that i might not be able to catch up, really need to work super hard this time.
not gonna waste any money again, finally learnt my lesson after influence by people.
drifted with some friends, by not meeting up for quite a long time & rejected some too.
now a days totally don't really have the mood to go out, probably no work and no money.
mood also turned off very easily, yes and lucky hunny is always there to cheer me up
with that irritating, sickening silly action. Really feel lucky to have this cute hunny with me.
no matter what attitude, temper i gave. Never gets angry with me, don't know his sohai or what.
but it shows that his really giving in to me a lot a lot, never failed to.
this silly boy never fail to send me anniversary text, even if his just beside me.
after all the broken hearts, i've finally figured out the problem.
i fall in love a little too late, i guard my heart like some kind of castle.
i don't let them in when they want, i wait until they're long gone,
then i realize they were the one i wanted all along.
being happy does not mean that everything is perfect.
it means you've decided to see life beyond the imperfections.
don't say you're happy because everything is alright,
but be happy because while everything's complicated.
you're still doing fine.
true friend will laugh at you when they find your flaws.
they will advice you when they know you are wrong.
they will feel happy for you when you are in the right way.
they will cry when you give away your life.
they understand you more than yourself.
they will be your everything when you think you are nothing.
if you have good friends, no matter how much life is sucking, they can make you laugh.
if you love someone,
you better be ready to prove it
because love is not a noun to be defined.
but a verb to be acted upon.
look in the mirror and tell yourself that you can be someone,
don't let anyone crush your dream, but most of all,
always remember that if you try hard and keep at it,
you will eventually reach your long life dream.
hold onto hope, and never for one second doubt yourself!
sometimes
you waste so much time fighting for what you had,
but you don't even realize its not worth having anymore.
.Sunday, February 19, 2012 ' 11:10 PM
That terrible moment.
well have been staying at home for total of 2 days.yes nobody believe, but i actually made it. Hurry up buy 4D guys, sure strike!
i didn't get to celebrate Valentine's day with my Hunny & instead i went out with other men.
why did i spell it as men, cause i went out with 2 different guys.
Hunny was really upset, and i'm really sorry. Picture above are the present given by Hunny.
i was touched to receive a super long text from him, i teared. But, i choose not to reply.
i don't know what's the reason too, probably his just too good & i don't know what to reply.
alright, on valentine's day lunch with Rayner at Bugis, arcade awhile and
went off to meet Stanwin. We went to Raffles City and Ion Orchard.
Had Ding Tai Feng for dinner, & Tcc for our supper/dessert.
went off to meet Stanwin. We went to Raffles City and Ion Orchard.
Had Ding Tai Feng for dinner, & Tcc for our supper/dessert.
Stanwin paid everything, he even brought me to Henderson Wave, taxi fare everything he paid.
and yeah he made my valentine's day a memorable one, haha enjoyed almost half day with him.
i really love Henderson Wave, the view really beautiful. And we manage to find a Mansion.
it's actually a cafe, restaurant, and very relaxed place for people. I rated 8/10!
i wanna bring my Hunny and friends to go someday to enjoy to scenery!
to forget the past: you must stop the communication, throw every piece of memory,
delete stupid pictures and every single text. You must forget the feeling.
it's not being bitter, it's just being fair enough to the next person who will try to be the one for you.
to couples: You're not gonna promise to each other that you will not disappoint one another,
because at some point you will. What is important is you don't go away,
you don't escape, you don't leave one another just because you were disappointed.
what could be nicer than seeing you loved one smiled at you so sweetly for no reason?
what could be more flattening than hearing that someone says you look good in
whatever you wear? what could be more heart warming that sharing with that someone
an umbrella under the cold rain? It is to hear that someone say, "i have fallen in love
with you more than i planned to and now i know for sure that there's no
way i will ever let you go."
to be honest, you're the only one
i've ever spent this much time and effort on.
i really love Henderson Wave, the view really beautiful. And we manage to find a Mansion.
it's actually a cafe, restaurant, and very relaxed place for people. I rated 8/10!
i wanna bring my Hunny and friends to go someday to enjoy to scenery!
to forget the past: you must stop the communication, throw every piece of memory,
delete stupid pictures and every single text. You must forget the feeling.
it's not being bitter, it's just being fair enough to the next person who will try to be the one for you.
to couples: You're not gonna promise to each other that you will not disappoint one another,
because at some point you will. What is important is you don't go away,
you don't escape, you don't leave one another just because you were disappointed.
what could be nicer than seeing you loved one smiled at you so sweetly for no reason?
what could be more flattening than hearing that someone says you look good in
whatever you wear? what could be more heart warming that sharing with that someone
an umbrella under the cold rain? It is to hear that someone say, "i have fallen in love
with you more than i planned to and now i know for sure that there's no
way i will ever let you go."
to be honest, you're the only one
i've ever spent this much time and effort on.
.Tuesday, February 14, 2012 ' 1:40 AM
Happy Valentine's Day To Everyone!
although i still have a boyfriend this year, but it isn't the same.
from what i see, our relationship is gonna end anytime.
i don't feel the same while being with him anymore, my feeling fade.
and yes most probably i don't feel the love already.
i don't expect us to end so soon, but i can't bring myself to love you when i don't.
it isn't fair to you anyway, i believe you can find someone better (:
this is the present i'm still gonna give it to you since i've brought like 2 weeks ago.
i've been crying for like 2 hours, i don't know what's the reason either.
find someone who isn't afraid to admit that they miss you.
someone who knows that you're not perfect, but treats you as if you are.
someone who's biggest fear is losing you.
one who gives their heart completely.
someone who says i love you and mean it.
last but not least, find someone who wouldn't mind waking up with you in the morning,
seeing you in wrinkles and your grey hair, but still falls for you all over again.
relationship aren't suppose to be easy.
they require work and compromise, a perfect relationship means doing those things well.
accept long nights of fights and talks, heartache and times of questioning & understanding.
it won't be easy but only those who can stick through it survive the first step in relationship.
karma will takecare of you.
.Saturday, February 11, 2012 ' 1:43 AM
A part of me will always be with you.
when someone walks out of your life, let them.
there's no use in wasting your time on people that leave you.
what you make of yourself and your future is no longer tied to them.
yeah, you may miss them but remember you weren't the one that gave up.
note to self: People make mistake and they're going to disappoint you,
especially the people who love you most and if you can't forgive them for not being perfect,
you're going to end up alone.
was not aware that he came only to love me for a while.
i was aiming to be with him forever but he is not willing to work it all out.
while i was busy planning for us, he was busying planning his life with another person.
it hurts too much but all i can do is watch him walk away and that is the end of it.
there goes my forever, there goes my life.
i know he is gone but holding on doesn't change anything, therefore choose to move on.
i'm not one of those girls that gets all the attention.
the perfect body, the perfect smile, the cute voice.
i'm not one of those girls that are good at hiding their flaws,
the one that are good at sweet talks and flirting.
i'm not one of those girls that has nice style and the nice looks.
i'm one of the girl that tend to be really insecure about themselves.
the girl that's always in the corner hiding, i'm the girl that's scared to show other's her real self.
do i have feeling for you?
oh yeah, of course. Like hatred, anger, disappointment and stuff like these.
sorry but i don't need any part-time people in my life.
you're either with me, or you're not.
you can't just come & go as you please.
people don't look at your personality first.
people judge you automatically by your looks and then try to get to know your personality.
but the second they don't like your looks, they don't get to know you.
that's how reality is.
it doesn't make sense to let go of something you have wanted for so long.
but it doesn't make sense to hold on when there's nothing there.
