♥ It doesn't last forever.

.Friday, April 30, 2010 ' 11:25 PM

work was like veh fine lahs :] a little things took me 3 and the half hours to complete -.-
i have a slow motion habit uh :X lucky no one scolded me uh.
had a bad headache after i came back from lunch, omgg. Fucking killing me, aww.
dismissed at five pm, headed to Jurong Point with Yu Xia. Had our dinner at Safra.
Japan food for today. i kinda love it but, the soft boil egg made me wanna vomit. LOL.
shared our things together. And finally let me understand her more.
and thanks for her encouragement, perhaps one day i will join you for chruch (:
headed home myself, like a lonely girl everyday. Lol but this life style suits me i really like.

every single day, there will be lies coming out from your mouth.
lied here and there, my blog did mention i hate liars the most.
is not that im a weak girl and im easily to be lied, i know how much you had lied.
i just kept quiet and you already cross the limit i can tolerate.
seriously, Numb my small weak Fucking heart already.
i love you super duper lots, but still the time is up.
i can never make you cherish me, so please. You are welcome.

when the past is certain to be left to collect dust
they will only be able to open into future.
the first spring that they spend apart from each other,
they learn to live a new life without the past.

.Thursday, April 29, 2010 ' 10:00 PM

Happy 17th birthday to my dear over here :]

i miss my hair and my chubby face in the pictures, it's no longer coming back.
but nevermind, what past have already past. i dont want think back or miss back too.
today i just wish to share a stories (: Since long time i never share story already.
the story starts now. ' A story whereby a young boy and a young girl knew each other
through games example, maple. As days goes by, they get along veh well and
became couple since 13 years old in the mid year. They broke up and patched for
like serveral times, they have gone through the pains together, ups and downs together.
and now they are both coming 17 years old, they patched recently again but however
the love was not there anymore, they hardly contact each other, they are unable
to find back the love when they first met. Boy changed, have a unstable heart,
heartless, full mouth of lies. Girl became weaker when days passed.
no matter how much she try to change for the guy, how much she still love him,
it's no longer important. down deep inside the guy's heart there is no longer a space for
the girl to enter and stay there. Those who are still in love with your partner, really cherish
the time and love each other deeply without fail. Love is hard to find, the moment you
choose to let it go, the love will totally change. Whole love will be so bewildered.
this girl had tried to commit sucide this year, but someone saved her.
she's mad, she's insane. Friends around her, scolded her. Hate her for being dumb.
there are so many people dying for love, now i think back. I think it's really stupid.
girls, remember hard cherish own life. Dont die because of man. It's not worth.
if the guy came back just because of the girl's sickeness condition? i suggest the guy to leave.
this will ease the girl's heart better, even though she leave this world will have no regrets '.
i think i will just share a story just like that for today, i hate history.
this is the last story im gonna write it for a relationship, it's all past.
the man seems to be missing in action as he likes :]

i rather lost everything at once. i dontknow how to be a friend anymore.
dontknow how to cherish and what so ever, i think it's time for everyone to leave me alone.
i feel myself getting veh horrible and terrible. with a scary face, monster face somemore.
i dont mind being alone, a girl like me. Oh, it seems to be hopeless.
just dont wish to say much, now a days i have been thinking a lots.
i will follow my wish and the way i think to walk on with my life.
i will just stop and end here, nights people.

if that's the true you.
i hope i never know you.

.Wednesday, April 28, 2010 ' 7:48 PM

Thanks for neglecting, this feeling im use to it already.

This few days i totally have no mood for work, outing. only feel like staying at home.
i have a baby, seems like dont have. i have veh close friends seems like dont have.
im like fated to live on my own, staying at home everyday facing my dearest computer.
err yeah if this is my life. no worry, i will get use to it. Because im doing now already.
today didnt go for work, have no mood to do so. just feel like staying at home for the whole day.
went to facial just now, mum waited for me. Central to buy dinner and home after that.
now watching channel 8, later im off to watch my taiwan show. Cried cried cried, omgg.
alright i will stop here, slowly i will not blog and slowly im gonna close down my blog.
since no one is tagging and plus im smacking mosquito now a days.
i saw miss call inside my phone, im waiting for them to call back.
because i know if i called back, you might not be the one answering. I better dont take the risk.

sometimes, you might look forward to an event or have good expectations for a person
but when it is not what you imagined, the feeling disappointment will even greater.
no matter what happen, god will always love us. The sentence above all have
disappointed me for a like dozen of time, heart totally numb. lost all feeling.
and i wont think and care anymore since im like a sticky note all this while.
find as you like, throw as you like. It doesnt leave mark too :] one word, being use.

if you feel like going off.
go ahead, no one can ever tie you anymore.
plus the lies you gave, i had all enough.

.Sunday, April 25, 2010 ' 11:02 PM

may i just know, where are you?

boyfriend and i have been veh hardworking for this morning work (:
looked so unlike us uh, hahaa. We love to see everywhere is clean lah.
had so much fun with my dearest boyfriend and my triple L.
home after that, bathe prepared everything and headed down to Somerset.
shopped around. Kept finding Hanhui's present but still i was so Fucked up.
cannot get anything for him since the whole afternoon till night.
my leg was like so terrible like Fuck and ruined my whole mood tonight.
infact, now my temper and everything is damn hot and eyes Fucking sleepy.
im gonna bathe after father come out and sleep immediately after that.
i cannot take it anymore and i swear working is a sux things to me.
enjoy the whole trip with boyfriend, she's like so super joker and weird girl :X

the pain is back, its hurting me super lots.
i dontknow how to take it anymore, it's slashing me.
it's killing me. i have no more to say, no more solution to solve it either.
yeah then i think just end it off here. The pain will stay and it really do.

relationship without trust,
is equal to being rust.

.Saturday, April 24, 2010 ' 11:59 PM

Will you stay by my side?

some past random photo

worked in the morning, was like so super slack. One last hour doing nothing and using computer.
wanted to login ebuddy and i dontknow why the stupid internet dont allowed.
12pm home! had big big big lunch again, one bowl maggie and small bowl of rice.
shitter, i cannot make it already -.- damn fat. Even that Fucking baby of mine said so.
afternoon met baby at Jurong East, trained down to City Hall.
walked around at Marina Square, accompany him for his lunch.
see him played arcade for awhile and actually we wanted to watch movie, it's NC 16 one.
but i was rejected, i never bring my IC with me because i have no more ez-link with me.
damn! cannot watch, and i wanted to watch the show veh much. forget it.
had our dinner at the so call night market near Esplanade there, took a long time to wait for place
baby went to buy his and my food while i was waiting, a angmo came over to ask whether
can share table, i agreed as baby and i wouldnt need the whole table too.
they are quite friendly lah :] not bad, i love angmo! :X best best.
after dinner, seat at the Esplanade there and chatted with baby like a lot.
went back to the catching machine arcade there, baby failed to catch and
he gave me the sad and pathetic face. so cute of him, i sayang him hahaa.
and home after that le, reached home 11.35pm somehow. bathe and sleep after that (:

i asked someone recently whether a relationship izzit hard to hold whereby
one week meet a few times, the person replied. It doesn't matter
just like how my stead and i, we seldom meet but the relationship was still good.
and i was like perhaps this is for those mature person who thinks this way.
and i told the person i have tried veh hard already, although sometime some attitude
i cannot control, but i already tried veh hard to give what i can give.
tried veh hard to do what i can do, the person said. I believe, there's something you can
do to solve it. Now i was wondering, what's the something it should be?
i just want a man, that dont flirt around. Dont sweet talk with other ladies, dont lie to me.
got girl-friend it doesnt matter and that's the trust i have in him.
will history repeat again, i hope it doesn't. My heart can never take it again.
although it happened a lot of times, i promise. This will be the veh last time.
because there's no much time left, im gone soon.

somehow sometime,
im in a mess.
i tried to solve it, but the problem kept running away.
when i said i trust you, i mean it.

.Friday, April 23, 2010 ' 10:42 PM

wahhs today was like enjoying my work a lot, laughed like nobody's business.
was like veh busy since 8am to 3plus i was like finally free.
and the noobies part came again, ask me to tear paper -.- Fuck man.
i Fucking threw my attitude, threw all the paper on floor. And of course i still need to pick it up.
like what only, find myself more trouble. Hahaa. Have to work tomorrow morning again!
i need some break please! rushed home for dinner :] pretty big bowl again.
bathe and meet my Leelim at central. The moment i saw her, i beat her!
she keep kpkb, tsk. But fun uh, she insult me and insisted im a big whale, and big mouth ):
and i called her big ear plus elephant! She accompany me walked all the way from central
to my house bus stop, accompany her wait for bus and both went off.
had so much fun with her, laughing non - stop. Cute lah she, like dog =x Hehee.
copy whatever i said, tsk. Veh irritating one lo. But I enjoyed myself with her, i swear.
hehee, we are meeting out some days again to buy things for somemore.
thanks for the joke uh thrice L :] she understand what i mean.

When can you not hear me when i scream your name,
when in a whisper i can hear you so clearly?
could it be it's fading, is that it? does it mean all my effort have gone to waste.
the good and bad side of you, i loved you completely.
but now i dontknow what to do, do i carry on loving you or do i accept
you not loving me and return to the darkness where i belong without you?
i had really tried my veh best, i changed a lot already.
i do what i should do, i changed what i should change. one word, im tired.

the colours fade,
it turn to grey.
all the happiness have been washed away.

.Thursday, April 22, 2010 ' 7:48 PM

Happy Birthday To My Dearest Mother :]

work was like alright lah, morning super boring.
My eyes kept staring people at those who walked into the office,
and those who walked out of the office. im boring but my eyes is veh busy -.- lol,
lame joke uh? :] aww. 1 hour plus on phone calling 10 companies asking things uh,
mouth super tired. skipped skipped. Had a lot of fun when working,
my collegue conversation was like so funny.
Hui Zhen ; you got saw the invoice?
Kai Chin ; can't you see im holding now?
Hui Zhen ; i thinking calling you Kai Chin make me feel better ( sweet voice )
Kai Chin ; don't talk in this way, my hair is standing up. Too mushy.
Hui Zhen ; hahahaa.
still got a lot more, i forget lol. But just veh funny lah.
I laughed a lot. then Kai Chin was like what are you laughing, i told her of the way she spoke.
she is veh curious what's so funny, lol. Her way of talking was like veh rude -.- but okay.
home without tapping my workcard, thanks one. Tomorrow confirm goodbye. nevermind, hackcare! :] aww, waiting for kfc to arrived. I was super hungry already! bullied mum just now, she's just like super cute! (: i love her to the max.

when i said i hate liars, i Fucking mean it alright?
im not like those little kids without brain, and i don't have pea brain.
don't think like im dumb or stupid without knowing anything.
since things end up this way, i have nothing more to say.
ever thought that i stop schooling things will become well for all of us.
hahaa, that's some childish mind of mine yeah? Isee.
hmm, now im like wondering what to buy for hanhui for his coming birthday.
what do guys like? sian, hate to buy present :]
See what boyfriend buying bah. got to go uh, mood Fucking bad and im not feeling well now.
and i got even more lesser people tagging me.
Soon i will close down my blog, takecare readers.

i have acid on my tongue,
and bullets in my eyes.
you can't see me behind of a liars disguise.

.Wednesday, April 21, 2010 ' 7:44 PM

my work is getting more more interesting, especially for computer :]
my eyes was like really super big when i touched computer, sent some emails and so.
checked this and that, call the person check this and that.
now i realised this is what work should be, and i dont like. Lol, dont suits me afterall.
now a days, for no reason my head ache for a sudden and gone again.
mum also suspected something, last night pain until i cannot even sleep.
she asked me to see a doctor as soon as possible and if possible have x-ray.
but i simply have no time to do so, imagine 7 days working. if people fated to go then just go.
oh yeah, my stupid leg cramp last night in the midnight i almost burst in tears.
made me shout like Fuck. Health problem like getting zz now, but i simply dont care.
met daddy at Jurong Point, i brought mummy the bonia bag she love.
tomorrow will be the day, hope it will surprise her with it :] Keeping very tight now =x

im like going to Fuck you down soon, seems like enjoying playing this game with me?
i will like Fucking play back with you :] want play exciting one, i will play with you.
want more more interesting one, i will accompany you to play on.
im not stupid lah dude, hahaa. You're just nothing lahh.
If you’re going to love me, love me deeply. If you’re going to break my heart, then break it all.
If you’re going to care, care for me completely. If you’ve decided not to hold me,
then just let me fall. If you’re going to stay, then stay forever and if you want to leave,
then do it today. If you’re going to change, change for the better. And if you’re going to talk, please mean what you say.

hope is realised when
impossible are made real.

.Tuesday, April 20, 2010 ' 9:16 PM

i swear that my work is so Fucking bored, i feel like quitting somehow.
what a damn job, people busy and i am always the veh free one doing nothing -.-
then might as well i sleep at home and not do anything, what a ' nice ' job i have.

what do people Fucking treat relationship as? Games, toys or dogs?
they like they can treat you damn good like the most happiest girl.
they want hurt you they can hurt until as if you are dying anytime.
i F this kind of guys the most, damn irritating damn hate.
want play with woman's feeling, then go find hongster girl.
dont stick with a girl whose heart isn't veh hard one.
they are damn weak and easy to break down anytime. Guys, speechless.
women and mans, women are always the one being so unfair.
example; women once lost their first time, man will mind.
but mans lost their first time, it's like normal to them -.-
what the hell is the world thinking about, and what is the earth doing.
i used to be veh soft veh soft, it's time to be real hard already.
im a sticky note being used around. Time will change, things will change
lastly i will change myself even a worst one.

those who failed in relationship, stand up again.
as long as you are my friend, i promise even im sick in bed
i'll still be there for your. Because all this pain i have walked through.
can really kills people until you dont even want your own life.
i want all my friend to move on to a better life, kick everything aside and throw it in past.
your will have a better future because there's god.

i will turn nasty soon,
my limit of patience left a little.

.Monday, April 19, 2010 ' 8:35 PM

random photo :]

i swear i damn hate work! had nothing to do, and i fall asleep and kena caught -.-
hire me but nothing for me to do, i was like wondering why still hire people for.
after lunch time finally there's a lot of things for me to do already :] Happier.
busy all the way until 5.10pm, im suppose to end work at 5pm. And i didnt realise it.
home sweet home alone, immediately had dinner as i was damn super hungry!
watching tv, and msn chat with friends. Alright short post for today bah (:

im just like a sticky note, where you can take and use it at your convenience
and when you dont need it you can rip it up and toss it out.
it's easy to rip up and it doesnt stick to your hand. It doesnt leave a mark
and can be forgotten easily. And that's me, a person being using around.

do you know what it's like to need someone this much?
do you know of any idea of the endless sorrow,
of knowing only in your dreams may you confess how you truly feel.

.Sunday, April 18, 2010 ' 3:24 PM

its just a random photo found in my laptop :]

had work this morning again, enjoying those laughter those fun.
every sunday it was just like my brightest day with friends. Laughing, joking non-stop.
home and was like thinking of million stuff, all was stuck inside my brain.
now im having a very great headache. seriously, i dont know what to do.
my hair sux like F, and i no longer feel like going out unless working.
i have totally no mood, im gonna wash up and nap till i feel like waking up.
life's to me was like damn F, i feel like going taiwan as soon as possible.
perhaps it will bright up my mood. but it's still long way to go, aww damn shag.
anyway, thanks to those who commented my hair ugly or whatever :]
i dont Fucking care how people look at me uh, ugly means ugly. So what?
i dont give a damn, i dont choose my looks in this way either.
before somehow like judge me, judge for your own looks first (:

why guys wanna find pretty girls, can they really be eaten?
why guys wanna find a girl with nice figure, can they keep the figure forever?
if all man in this world behave this way. i promise i will be single, and i will.
so what if im not prettier than other girls outside, does it mean i dont have a heart?
i thought girl's heart is what man are finding, but i was like totally wrong.
they find girlfriend, with looks, figure, sweet voice and whatever :]
and i wont be like them, i think im gonna be myself from today onwards.
im a girl which guys dont even take a eyes on, and i wouldnt care too.
i will just be myself (: live a happy life like how others people do.

i am stained with the blood of the innocent,
the gulit doesn't go away no matter what i do.
i realised that as long as i am haunted by my sins i will not rest peacefully,
no matter what i am still dying slowly inside,
i will find my way out of this hell. Dead or alive.

when the rain comes, dont be afraid.
dont run away, dont hide.
let it wash away your fear, wash away your tears.

.Saturday, April 17, 2010 ' 12:58 AM

morning polyclinic with family, Bugis bought a 3/4 pants :] Jurong Point then home :]
rushed everything and meet baby at Jurong East mrt, trained down to Vivo City again.
oh my god! Every week the same place, and every week we caught movie.
before movie start we went for our dinner, fish and chips! Baby ate err steak, eek lah!
today watched Le Grand Chef 2, damn touching and story was super nice.
made me tears again, and that stupid asshole beside laughing at me.
i kept stuffing popcorn into his damn mouth. And he throw shoot it at me from his mouth -.-
see damn disgusting is this man over here, then behind he stuffed popcorn into my mouth!
lol, damn hard to bite kkays. Movie rated, 4/5 :] Damn worth watching.
after movie, walked round the place chit chat about different things.
baby hungry, so accompany him mac but i didn't eat! Fats all coming out le.
had our long conversation after that at Harborfront entrance, and now i finally feel that baby
is getting mature. His thinking about for his own future already, therefore im happy for him.
hope your dream and my own dream will like fulfill soon in few years time.
all the best to you dearest (: Baby accompany me back to Jurong East as usual.
and our coversation seems like no ending, continue on and on. awhile reaches Jurong East.
and he was like wah so fast reach liao uh sian, hahaa bid goodbye to him.
out of mrt saw Angel, she is doing damn fine i believed. Home @ around 11.50
damn tired, im sleeping after this post. Working tomorrow morning too! Yawn man.

when your world come crashing down, then the wall around you falls
when everyone else has failed. it seems as if there's no hope.
nothing to look forward to, you want nothing but die.
your very life is taken from you once beautiful soul.
you live in deep depression, caused by what? i do not know.
whatever holds you captive is nothing you can't handle.
so forget about your past, look at what you are today and what you hope to be.
moral of the story; persevere till the end no matter what, there's nothing gonna beat us down.
it's the effort and how much we want to change our life. Dont quit until you fulfill your dreams.
you and i, no distractions or delays. we'll fight through our captive until you are finally free :]

if you believe you can success, you will.
if you believe you cannot success, you will fail badly.

.Friday, April 16, 2010 ' 4:11 AM

wahh morning rained so heavily, but it didnt affect me :] all the way under shelter until bus stop. today's work is slightly better lahhs at least somehow not that boring already.
time passes quite fast too, but i hate the part where i need to tear paper. Lol.
and F it, seriously i hate my current damn hair. No different from a mushroom.
perhaps when hair grow longer, im gonna have it perm and dye whole head gold/ brownish.
i was damn tiring today. last night slept too late already, tomorrow took leave for work.
going polyclinic for something :] only people close with me then know.
aww, tomorrow afternoon actually going out. But I think appointment think will change.
because the person might not remember nor wake on time.
oh yea slept on the bus while on my way home, so super tired uh.
reached home had my dinner :] Cha Siew Chicken, my favourite and craving for long.
mum fufill my dream uh, hehee. Watching 7pm show now, yawn .
gonna bathe and sleep soon le bah. Tomorrow still need to wake early, sian!

even when you are there, you just ignore me.
always put the little things before me.
all i want to do is hold, a coversation but im told
' your words aren't even worth my time, you bore me. '
what happens if i said i love you?
will you block my words or will they shove you?
will you feel what i have felt? will it make your cold heart melt.
will you finally realize i finally rose about you.
i just dont care anymore, now i know what love is for.
now i will not be ignored, because i haven been broken before.
im tired of waiting for a word, because i know it goes unheard.
i no longer want my loved returned, if the someone burned it again.

tired of searching for inspiration?
simply loss of words?
not enough meaning to finish your sentences,
or simply out of verbs?

.Thursday, April 15, 2010 ' 11:58 AM

im still late for work like normal :] today's work finally better than few days.
able to use computer to check things and i haven finish the task the manager instructed me. tomorrow continue then, i dont know what to do and how to do also. Lol.
tomorrow things tomorrow then say :] rushed after work to City Hall to meet my dear.
ice-cream treat from her, the taste like omg. But overall till nice.
had my hair cut, the fringe like dumb look! nevermind, hair to me not really important.
the man help me cut hair one super shuai (: coversation with him quite lots.
he go blow my hair perm, lol. reached home i immediately washed away =x
accompany dear with her arcade and home after that, it's 11.58pm now.
time to sleep, tomorrow there's still work.
My eyebag simply suck like F can -.- short little post for today, hehee.

wanna play avoid, mia ? I'll join the fun with you.
it seems like damn fun uh :] hahaa. i have no time to continue the game with you.
yea, having x-ray on coming saturday. day is reaching
worse of the worse -.- F it man.

while cold while hot.
i will therefore give the coldest.

.Wednesday, April 14, 2010 ' 8:31 PM

Jiao bin of mine -.-

pulled myself out of my bed today, with a heavy headache and whole body aching.
shower; blow my hair, change on clothes with the cute little bag that boyfriend lend me.
bus down to work place. sad to say it's still late for work. Lol, nevermind :]
while tearing those unwanted paper i fell asleep, and time passed super fast leh.
lucky no one saw me sleeping, or else confirm kena fired. But they saw me using handphone!
lunch time daddy came and fetch for me lunch, so sweet of him yeah. Love my daddy.
back to work, finally after 1 week i finish tearing all those unwanted paper. Cool lahhs.
some computer work today, some file-ing. Dismissed at 5pm.
while walking to bus stop, a gentleman from my office which we usually dont talk one.
he horn me, asking where am i going. he drove me home, aww how i wish my stead got car.
like so reluctant to get down from his car, thanks him after i alighted.
he let me alight at Jurong stadium, i took my 15 min own sweet time to walk home. Hehee.
the first thing i do was shower, like first time i shower so early. Normally after 10 pm =x
dinner claypot rice (: marvellous. Chatting with twins, babe and rayner now.
oh yeah, my handphone Fucking dying soon. Damn it -.- just bought not long ago leh, sux!

i'm disabled, but i dont need a wheelchair for getting around.
internet lets me enjoy the same comfortably from my home.
become paralyzed wouldnt prevent me from from getting my daily eyecandy fix.
each of us have our own disabilities, laziness is just one of them.
there is a word in finnish, which translates to " attitude handicap "
we all maintain some handicaps in our minds.
Pixels on the computer screen feel more interesting and familiar, something we can digest.

gonna have my whole hair cut tomorrow, no matter how is it gonna be.
i shall accept the stupid facts. and going down bugis to buy the dress im waiting for :]
hopefully tomorrow weather will be a nice one after 5pm.
got to go already, wanna rest well tonight. Dying in few days time, lack of sleep. Lol!

i have the confident
provider you show it to me too :]

.Monday, April 12, 2010 ' 11:47 PM

today my mood F like no tomorrow, early in the morning the dumb mother asshole of the
bus driver finding trouble for me -.- im rushing time for work already, it seems like he
have nothing better to do. Now a days, whatever i do it's like so unsuccessful and i went
so damn unlucky. What kind of weird life am i having now? Tsk, damn it one.
and i freaking hate the damn feeling, work bored. everyday working but like doing nothing
making me wanting to sleep only. i was considering whether to go overboard for further studies.
Singapore's studies bored but definitely safety cannot compare to other countries :]
here's the best! i want to go taiwan for holiday. Hopefully June i would have the change to go.
hmm, oh yeah im also a person who dont like people saying sorry for the sake of saying
whereby they dont even know what they have do or done wrong.
and a word sorry can solve everything? if so then Singapore dont need any police
anymore am i right? This kind of people maybe lack of intelligently and lazy mind.

i was wondering why my work place was like without brain one.
hire a lorry for us to transport us back to Jurong Point, a lorry excuse me. Lol.
i nearly fell down from the F lorry. Made me so paiseh, F it man.
and my bone today ache for nothing, leg suddenly cannot move. Knee bone start shifting -.-
what a cool leg i have now, damn man. Giving lots of problem everyday.
met boyfriend and cousin at Jurong Point, cousin treated us dinner at Kushin-bo :]
so expensive, i believed his wallet is having hole now. His hundred plus fly away =x
today first time had lobster, i thought it was nice. In the end, the taste like lol.
had a lot of food, our stomach was like bloated with so many things.
leg cannot even walk too heavy to walk already, boyfriend immediately went toilet for business!
lol, waited waited and saw bestie. I hugged her, then she scold me lesbian. wth, nevermind!
sian now 11.45pm already, haven even bathe. tomorrow sure no mood work again -.-
gonna offline now already. wanna have a quick shower and sleep after that.
headache, bone aching. shag uh, suffering :]

history repeating i bet.
no choice but to hackcare.

.Sunday, April 11, 2010 ' 11:59 PM

today as usual went for work for boyfriend never turn up.
but now Leelim' dar joined us for the work :] She made me laugh like F.
damn funny one. we joked around like monkey, sibei fun.
but from next week onwards different le, shag. And Jubellina won't be working with us anymore.
seems like all slowly drifting liao uh. wonder when can meet Jubellina again? :(
crapped in Jubellina's mum car with Leelim' Dar, coversation damn fun one. Hehee.
home and rushed, bathe done everything and meet boyfriend at Outram Park.
we trained down to Harbofront, and took sentosa train :] Reached sentosa.
and i was like super hungry already. boyfriend brought a lot of things come.
example; scissors, fruits, maggie mee, fork, spoon, bowl. Haiyo, like doreamon de bag =x
and we took 1 hour to set up like funnel de, and cooked maggie for like 1 hour also not cooked.
lol, wad a fun acitivity we had -.- by the time we finish cooking that one packet maggie
im already damn full, hunger went off =x hahaa. Each of us had 5 stick of hotdog as dinner.

we toured ourself around Sentosa, and i scared boyfriend with my ghost stories.
she shouted like as if she own the whole place. hahaa, lol.
fun lahh, she like quite timid leh =x saw dark place held my hand so tightly, tsk.
see she so damn irritating one, hahaa. and trained back to Harbonfront.
met baby at pet's shop. and i love the hamster super much, serious one.
if i have my own house next time i will sure buy dog, hamster to keep :]
they are just like super cute, cannot stand it. Kept smiling while looking at them D:
sigh, mummy dont allow me to keep one at home. Aww, shag one. nevermind, i'll wait.
after that three of us went to buy drinks and out to slack at the place whereby a lot water de.
chatted a lot of things, and arcade for awhile to play basketball. We both win baby, his noob.
shopped around Vivo City at 10plus, decided to train home le.
boyfriend studying today and im working today too, took different train from baby.
therefore bid goodbye to him that dumbass without holes.

i knew things will change,
therefore im waiting.

.Saturday, April 10, 2010 ' 11:58 PM

Hello! Kkays start stupid post today, went work like doing nothing for the half day.
sit inside the air-con office rottening, tearing those unwanted paper for 4 hours -.-
purposely went work late, asked daddy breakfast together first =x
and he drove me to work and he went back to his office for half day work too.
12pm dismissed. daddy waited me outside my office, we went central.
daddy went to buy food and i was waiting for him inside his car.
home for lunch, durian bathe and out to meet baby at Jurong East.
and we trained down to Vivo City, bought cinema ticket for the show ' Clash Of The Titans '
went for our dinner first, bought big plate hokkien mee shared with baby.
he helped me plurk the prawn's shell out :] sweet right, but is i asked him de. Tsk.
but not bad he rejected me but still helped me uh, hahaa.
chatted while waiting for time to pass and went for our movie, show was so so lahh.
and i dropped the popcorn all over the floor, damn paiseh. Baby's fault! Lol.
immediately went toilet after show, buay tahan.

went vivo behind the water place there. All the way fighting with baby, real fighting i mean.
lol, end up both injuries. I punched him at his rip-cage, he kicked my leg.
now uh, my leg bruise. Thanks to him, hahaa. while fighting so many people see.
but it's playing kind, but also quite serious uh. Use real energy to fight, tsk.
accompany him to see the phone price, he maybe buying same phone with me bah.
he accompany me trained back to Jurong East and he changed to redline.
home, shower and sneezing like what the hell only. Cannot tahan, now ah choo!
on phone with dearest boyfriend now, long time never chat with her le.
enjoying ^^ hehee. soon hanging, going for bed tomorrow morning still working le.

let us be in this way, do your things as you like.
ignore if you feel like it. i have no choice to choose too.
sometime i swear i dont know what are you thinking about.
guess only you yourself understand yourself the most bah.
what i can give, i already tried my best. i wont force myself anymore.

if by forcing it does work.
will you give it a try?

.Friday, April 9, 2010 ' 7:54 AM

once again im late for work, and i hackcare uh. Not my fault, it's the bus =x
i realised today's time passed damn slow, i kept shaking leg inside the office.
damn boring one. aww, go work like just to kill my boredom only.
i want to thanks the auntie there to help me find lunch from the far away canteen.
leave place at 5pm, waited for daddy to fetch me. Fetched mum and sister @ Poineer Mall.
and we went all the way to Dhoby Ghuat, from Jurong till Kallang jam -.-
stuck in daddy's car like for 1 hour, my nature is calling me. im so damn urgent.
reached collect money from the handphone shop man and dinner at there.
bugis to buy my jacket and home after that, 10.10pm reached home. Im so damn tired.
tomorrow working again, having shit life. 7 days, everyday must wake up at 6am.
super duper shag! waiting for hair dry and off to bed soon.
breakfast with family tomorrow morning :] before going for my work.

those who want to change, go ahead.
i wont change for others. i'll only change for myself to the better.
wad for cherishing those useless person whereby they dont even bother.
i wont sad for losing your, because its not worth.
i knew this will be the outcome. my thinking never goes wrong.
just damn disappointed in your, that's all.
just goodluck to your, friends from young changed.
friends from those which we are damn close all changed :]
by all mean, go ahead. And the one who love me 4 years ago also changed.
all go away bahh. all i need is a trust able friend.

it's time to say goodbye.
i will and wish you all the best.

.Thursday, April 8, 2010 ' 9:56 PM

once again dragged myself out of my bed, eyes closing while walking to toilet for shower.
prepared and walked to take bus, and what the hack im late for work.
but nevermind, hahaa because i no need to punch card for time being.
my job was just so super slack that i find time passed so super duper slow eh.
while working i actually accidentally fall a sleep, what the hack -.-
quickly went toilet to wash up for face and keep myself damn awake.
walked up and down the office, finding other things to do :]
had bread for lunch today. dont want to go out to for lunch, went down to find my Yu xia.
chatted with her for like half an hour and went back to my second floor office.
again waiting for time to pass. i remembered that time i mention malaysian sux right.
i realised not all, my colleagues all are so friendly and caring (:
gave me drinks, fruits and sweets. Aww, so sweet of them. And they wont dao kkays!

after work, jurong point to look for my dearest boyfriend.
the moment i saw her, i saw her wearing same clothes as me :]
mango tee! hehee, we are like so got fate. Almost wearing same clothes.
boyfriend treated me Swensens, my fish and chips oh my god. Damn delicious one!
and i love the time with boyfriend, keep making fool of herself. Laughing non - stop.
i suspected boyfriend need checkup, she got lu chi [ like forget direction one ]
made her laugh like no tomorrow just now. Tsk, she very noisy lahh =x
but i love outing with her, laughter sure never ends. Hehee, soon sentosa trip with her.
waiting for our dating to come le. hope my dearest boyfriend don't bomb me uh.

i thought today will be a special date, it shows me that it doesn't have any differents.
not even a text that im waiting for :] nevermind uhs.
i know this will be the outcome that's why im worrying about.
now i wont worry anymore, i have my own life.
i no need anyone to interfear, and there's nothing to be sad about.
i have lost everything, are you happy now? (:
this is my life i will accept it, if loving you is miserable.
next life i will still choose to love you again. It shows that i cherish this relationship the most.

when you can't make sense of feeling.
you can just scribble on the page.

.Wednesday, April 7, 2010 ' 8:01 PM

woke up damn early, took 193 to bus down to my work place.
im so worried that i missed the bus stop, i saw people get down i followed -.-
lucky i alighted at the correct bus down. walk roughly 7min to reach.
today working hours damn slack and i dont like, like nothing better to do.
everyone is so busy with things yet i looked like a boss walking up and down.
kept asking them to stuff me with things to do, aww bored one.
knew new colleague today sky and feng yi if im not wrong, lunch with them.
walked such a long journey to reach our canteen like what the hell only.
took free transport back to jurong point, asked daddy to drive my new friend to imm.
and home after that, reached home like ghost kept stuffing with food.
parents said that i looked like few days never eaten any food -.-
mum's dinner the best :] cabbage, steam fish and fishball. best!
i remembered just now my bone accidentally hit into the sharp things belonged to the car.
my bones started to ache and the pain stays, connected to my whole hand.
Unable to move for like 10 min, i think no longer can make it (:

i miss all of them in the picture above, work de work.
school de school. everyone like lost contact already.
only boyfriend and i de contact still remain :] still the best.
miss them, but when am i able to meet all of them again.
my sensor tells me, i won't have the chance to do so already.
so nevermind. hope all of them are doing fine.
goodluck to those who are taking o level, jiayou jiayou :]
those who are working, endure everything and jiayou too.
alright i'll end off here, withlove girls x3.

today Yous love me tomorrow Yous no longer love me.
forever in this life of debt.
Yous swore that Yous will love me till we die but death do us didn't cut it.
if i knew our love won't last, i had try to make myself hate Yous.
then Yous made my heart bleed and when tears ran down my face Yous weren't here.
Yous were never here, i should have hated Yous.
i want Yous to notice me and not at the same time.
look eternally into my eyes then leave the outer appearance alone.

let's go back to our past.
let time conclude everything.

.Tuesday, April 6, 2010 ' 8:25 PM

so reluctant to wake up, bathe prepared and daddy drove me to my work place.
reached there, waited for Kai Chin to reach for like almost reaching one hour.
she asked me to read the agreement and all that. Withthin 5 min I finished everything.
lol. She asked me to re-read, even said that Im a pro read it so fast :]
rot like for another half an hour and was brought down to another person in charge.
seat inside my office for the whole day, calculation I don't know what.
all the way and I just finished it everybefore at 5pm, and walked a long journey bus stop.
my colleague kept shouting my name so loudly, asked me take free transport.
but I rejected, because I take bus straight reach my house. Lazy go down to Jurong Point.
dear meet me at bus stop, Poineer mall together. Bought bubble tea home for whole family.
meet Daddy at giant, and free trip home without walking :]
had big big bowls of noodles that mum cooked, I swear that my tummy is bursting ]:
chatting with babe in msn and Im going to do business soon, aww. Stomach pain !

i can feel Yous slipping away.
Yous slowly disappear from my mind as the essence of yous leaves.
the heart I loved, that mind I cherished.
no longer here have I gone within my mind.
in my eyes yous decayed. Laying within my mesh of the thing held in my skull.
i yell my silent screams. Not a single soul hear me for I no longer can speak.
everything about me I hate, I torn myself apart.
Yous soul was torn because of my hate. That love was lost because of my pain.
slowly I become the rotted ground I once walked upon.
i wish it didn't end this way.

i realize now that all my life, ignorance has been my guide.
i held my valuables in closed fingers and let them slip away like liquid.
opportunities raced by me, giving me no chance to hold on.
i look back to my innocence, I see smiles and laughter.
now when Yous look my way, Yous see 16 years of sadness.
piled up, kept inside. Till it boiled over,
and ruined everything.

lost all my dearest beloved friend.
lost both my siblings.
lost everything, that's so marvellous :]

.Monday, April 5, 2010 ' 8:51 PM

Had job interview today, thanks Jubellina and Boyfriend accompany me go :]
Reached the place and was running and walking under the rain to reach the company im going.
Everyone was like bathing under the rain, cannot stand it.
Went for interview. The person kept looking at my wet hair, tsk -.-
Kkays, accepted for the job. Able to start work tomorrow, im terrify =x
But still thanks Jubellina for introducing me this job, hope it isn't tough or else sure die!
Home with both of my sweet girl, and had big bowl for my dinner. Damn hungry.
And my super tongue stud ball, swallowed the 3rd one today.
The bluez de tongue study sux to the core man ]:

3 more days, I was wondering if you still remember.
Thursday I will know whether you have the heart to remember.
For time being, I wouldn't think so much.
Prove to me that I'm wrong in thinking that way.
Might be facing different road down ahead soon, are you up to it?
The road is thin, the road is windy, the road is tough to walk.
The end is worth to walk. Because end of the road, there is you.
Im glad that you are enjoying yourself outside :]

Lack of accompany, a relationship wouldn't last.
Like how someone describe it as feeling fade.
I believed all this reason are all man who gave us.
Girls feeling will never fade so fast, if you want to go.
Just go ahead :] I already knew what's the outcome earlier on.
Im putting hope, but from the way you said I really given up.

Im tired of taking the time trying to explain.
Only to be understood.

.Sunday, April 4, 2010 ' 10:42 PM

Sky Of Love.

Woke up and worked, oh my god the weather was like so cool yet im working.
The weather is pretty good for me to sleep on my bed with blanket covering over me ]:
Home at 1pm, prepared. Mum cooked my favourite noodles, thanks beloved mum.
Bathe and went to Jurong Point with boyfriend, she went to return her uniform to bitch =x
Walked round the whole Jurong Point and we think of going Poineer Mall instead.
When we are waiting for bus, boyfriend made so much laughing sound.
I swear that was the loudest voice, everyone are looking at us. I hope to find a hole to hide in.
Headed to mac immediately. Boyfriend kept wanting to eat, she is getting fatter I suppose.
Once again, she laughed like no tomorrow. This time lucky, mac not much people.
After that went to buy and packed mac for brother and sister. Mum's order !@#$%^&
Bid goodbye to boyfriend, still enjoyed a lot with her. Dearest boyfriend still :]

Onlined msn, chatted with babe. And she is watching the taiwan drama I introduced.
And she introduced me the Japan romance show ' Sky Of Love ' like exchanging show uh.
We both dreamt that we can have those guys inside the show.
Definitely we are dreaming lahh, but I still hope my babe would find one herself.
We are both sad while watching those romance show. It shows that we have heart kkays!
Babe let's sleep and dream for our future man :] I swear this show is worth watching!
Rated 4/5! Damn marvellous, cried so much while watching. Cannot stand it.

If I have the same sickness as the main character of the show, I would have left my boyfriend too.
I won't expect my boyfriend to walk with a girl who are half leg inside coffin.
I will avoid, lied my boyfriend that I have found a better boy.
Althought it might hurt. But it shows that I loved him so much, and want him to find others
That suits him more, give him more hope for his future :]
People might think it is selfish, but love should be in this way.
Let the someone of yours to find a better person, rather than see them suffering after you leave.
After seeing so much romance show, perhaps I know what's really love is.
Im finding more show to watch. Romance show rox to the core. Rox up my day!

If Im in a cancer stage.
Will you stay and accompany me to walk through?
It's a question, perhaps you have the answer.
My memory getting weaker, so what is inside my head now?
A stone? Sigh.

.Saturday, April 3, 2010 ' 11:45 PM

When I said I hate you, I mean it.
I'll never talk to you anymore, I mean it.
This middle finger is for you uh -.-

.Friday, April 2, 2010 ' 11:58 PM

Bought the phone I wanted already, nokia E72. But seriously, I regretted =.=
Woke @ nearly 1pm, super shiok. It had been so long that I last slept until so late.
Had my lunch. On my laptop and continue watching my taiwan drama.
Cried like no tomorrow, super touching and sweet. How I wish I'm the actress inside =X
And I love Van ness ( Ren Guang Xi ) Super handsome & cool.
I have finished this show after 3 days which is today, going to find others Love show le.
Babe is watching this drama too :] She enjoyed a lot too I bet, we are so emotional.
Can even tears infront of computer because of those sweetness parts.
I would like to have a guy that can treat me in this way too, love and care for me.
Love me for who am I. Care for me like I'm the most happiness girl in this world.
It might be a dream, but I think I'm able to find this guy. I will wait, until he appears.

I wonder where is the heart of some Singaporean.
Saw those old folks walking into the mrt, have weak leg example;
Nobody just bother to give up their seats to them, frankly speaking they need it more than us.
I hate the way of now those Singaporean acts, selfish attitude.
I detest those selfish acts of those people, sickening.
And normally we saw those aunties uncles selling tissue paper, 3 for $1.
I wonder they don't even have $1 to buy for them marhs? Treated them as invisible.
What the fuck, I really very angry. Got money eat, shopping.
Just spare $1 for them also cannot? Damn it, they will sure have retribution I believe.

I hate seeing you hurt people one by one, including me.
No matter how much I want to be by your side. It seems that it's no longer important.
I can no longer feel the love, the care and the sweetness of yours.
I'm willing to walk my own path if you are willing to let go of me.
Giving you a chance to find a better lady, and giving myself a chance to find a better guy.
Don't love me of some reason but not loving me by your heart.
If so, please just go away. I don't need reason for you to stay beside me.

My life is of pain and sorrow.
Nothing good except hopeless signs of no tomorrow.
Love is something that everyone in life is trying to obtain.
Failed badly and loses everything.