.Sunday, July 22, 2012 ' 10:50 PM
wishing for the impossible,
that made me moved on.
my days seems to be so numbering, dying anytime.
to those people who asked me out during weekend, so deeply sorry.
i just don't feel like going out. Firstly, no money. Secondly, no mood. Thirdly, face burst.
what i mean by face burst is my pimples all burst out, cool. So i rather stay home.
nobody can see the ugly face of mine, so sick of my face. Can i just go plastic surgery,
or take in any injection that wouldn't let me grow pimples? Freaking hate, i swear.
well well well, my job contract left 1 month plus. So what should i do after that?
shake leg like a taitai at home and wait for the money to drop from sky, or trees?
now my top priority are to earn more money, takecare of my parents.
other things like friendship, relationship to me doesn't matter anymore.
these two things used to be so important to me, but lesson learned after another.
i changed my mindset, living in this stupid society, no money = no talk.
the worst moments in life:
1. not getting a text back.
2. " i'm fine ".
3. cancelled plans.
4. having a great day, only to ruined by someone.
5. burning your taste buds.
6. feeling sick and tired.
7. " i'm sorry, what was your name again? ".
8. not getting enough sleep.
9. turning to radio station to the end of a good song.
10. being ignored by people you care about.
11. feeling alone in a room full of people.
12. failing on a test you studied so hard for.
13. crying yourself to sleep.
14. not being missed.
15. being replaced.
i know it's a question you probably don't want to answer, but i just want to ask
why did you give up on me?
we're too young for this. It sucks falling for someone, getting attached,
getting used to them "always" being there.
the pain of heartbreak is more overwhelming than the feeling of "love" itself.
it's fun when everything is all good, but once it all turns to shit,
it was never even fucking worth it.
it's better to have nobody, than to have someone who is half there,
or doesn't want to be there. Sometimes i still wonder why things happened the way they did.
i hate missing someone,
and knowing they actually don't give a fuck.
.Thursday, July 19, 2012 ' 1:18 PM
My thoughts are drowning me.
the reason why i'm here typing nonsense again because i'm real bored.
currently rottening in office, everyone went out for lunch.
i don't have the mood to join them so decided stay in office and rot instead.
everyday having same routinue is really destroying my life, bored, bored & bored.
oh yah, on the monday i decided to text someone to see if we're friends.
to what i expected and yes from his reply i can feel that he don't bother.
so i choose to stop texting, i mean what's the use?
he don't even fucking bother to ask like how's my life and so.
probably its a wrong move for me to step forward first, but its okay. At least i tried.
some people supported me, some asked me not to try. But i followed myself.
i thought result will be different from what i think, but too bad is what i expected.
i used few weeks courage to text you, only second text and i decided to stop everything.
i've to admit that we're strangers now, but still strangers with memories.
all the best for your life, future. Everytime, i wanted to care but i can't.
is already beyond the line that i can, i stand nowhere.
looking back you realize that a very special person passed brieftly
through your life and that person was him/her.
the choices you make now, the people you surrounded with,
they all have the potential to affect your life, even who you are, forever.
you can't expect to find this amazing person if you're not growing
and becoming a better person yourself.
the harvest depends on the seed itself.
goodbyes make you think.
they make you realize what you've lost,
what you have and what you took for granted.
never ignore a person who loves you and cares for you.
one day you may realize you've lost the moon while counting stars.
being single is better than being
in an unfaithful relationship.
.Wednesday, July 11, 2012 ' 11:27 PM
The only thing standing in between
you and me is reality.
well, my life still the same in a mess. Don't even know how to solve it either.
had a mock test for accounting on last monday, i guess i screwed everything also.
totally question mark inside my this pea brain, i swear if i can eat my brain i'll!
teacher gave us 2.5hours to complete but after 1hour i left with leelim already.
everyday feeling tired, insomnia for that previous few days.
i met someone that i feel comfortable to chat with, get along with, it's a guy.
but sooner or later, some lil things he did that made me no longer trust.
i really can't bring myself to trust any guys again, never.
i realize i get bored of a person very soon, probably loses hope.
don't wish to elaborate more, maybe more on my next post.
i want to be the girl you'll be proud of, i wanna be the girl in your cellphone wallpaper.
i want to be the girl whom you'll introduce proudly to your friends and family,
i want to be the girl whom your sister will love, and i want to be the girl whom
your mother will want for you. If only all of these will come true.
you'll make me the luckiest girl in the world.
just love me for who i am, no matter how bitchy i act at times,
no matter how i dress like a slut, or no matter how my hair mess up.
thank you for accepting me, thank you for always being there.
it's kinda fucked up isn't it?
how out of a sudden, someone just wakes up and decides to never talk to you again.
no reason, no explanation, no words said.
they just leave you like hanging like you never meant shit to them,
and what hurts the most is how they made it look so easy.
sometimes it's so hard and
i just want to un-meet you. 