♥ It doesn't last forever.

.Saturday, October 31, 2009 ' 9:41 AM

Our Girl's Gathering Finally Arrived (;

Went to take neoprints, arcade and our steamboat session.
We simply took a long time to decide which steamboat shop to go.
At last, decided to choose the cheapest $15 each. Because food was all the same.
While we are enjoying our food half way, heavy rain just poured down.
We are half eating, and half showering. Laughs lah! (; Super cooling.
But all of our food and drinks are mixed with the rain, yucks huh?
We don't care, just finish all the food. Started our dinner from 5 plus to 8plus ;x
Walked back to Bugis Junction, toilet. And trained back to Poineer Station.
Rest of them went home? While Pearlyn and I went boyfriend's house.
Enjoyed show at her house lah, left at 11.30pm. Bathe and blogging over here now.
I believe this is the last gathering we are having already, at least we enjoyed.
And today there's no quarrels going on, but only laughter everywhere ;D
Lastly, that stupid Cynthia kept disturbing me! Super hate her can.
I won't show mercy to you anymore and I don't love you, you don't dream on! Lol.

When I was about to die, you left me.
When I was about to reach out for my hand, you ignore me.
When I was about to say goodbye, you've already done so.
When I was about to plead you to stay, you're gone.
It showed that, whenever I need you. You are never there!

♥
Sweetheart.
If now I were to tell you that, i'm dying already.
Will you call me to hear my last voice?
I sent you message, you never reply me.
If that was my last message before I left this world, will you regret?
After not meeting each other for 1 week, which is a long period.
We've changed, no longer looked like a couple. But a anger machine.
Think over again, if this relationship should continue in this way.
I feel like crying, but I stopped it. I swear, I won't shed anymore tears for you.
But, i'll still love you.

I tried to understand.
Your needs aren't mine.
In the past, it was so different.

.Thursday, October 29, 2009 ' 9:19 AM

Woke up @ 12pm plus again (; I'm such a pig huh?
On phone with sweetheart awhile, as he missed me too much ;x
24 miss call from him, when I am sleeping? Laugh, yet I didn't heard it.
Had porridge, watched drama in SCV and used computer.
Bathe, prepared and waiting for boyfriend to get ready.
Made me waited for 1 hour, walking up and down my house. Dumb her!
Met her, withdraw money from bank and trained down to Clarke Quay.
Shopped around with our painful foot, stupid high heels @#$%^&*((&^%$#!
Went Kopitiam to eat, shared and that stupid boyfriend making fool of herself.
The sea was really beautiful, plus the scenery there is really oh my god! (;
Totally love the scenery there, how I wish I can stay a night at there! Haha.
Walked ups and downs to find place to camwhore ourself, fool huh?
Went to buy Hokkaido Hot Ball to eat, hey! It's so super nice leh.
Boyfriend and I enjoyed it a lot (; she loved the chocolate super lots! Greedy pig.
The wind was so cooling, so hard to explain those feeling. Damn shiok lah.
Took MRT and reached home around @ around 9 plus, had my dinner.
Watched television programme and half updating my blog until now 1am, lol.
And currently i'm on phone with my sweetheart, he kept calling me ' baby whale '!

Some say love is overrated. Some say love is everything,
And they couldn’t bear to be apart from that special someone for more than a few hours.
Some treat love as a game, untrusting and manipulative.
To me, love is unexplainable. Because, it comes with the feeling (;

♥
Sweetheart!
It had been 5 days I last seen you D;
Super miss you lah, when can I meet you again?
Stupid businessman! And I am so free lah.
You earn money, I help you spent okay? (;
I'm tai tai, shaking my leg at home! Haha.
Sweetheart, i'm not that bad lah. I'm finding jobs as well.
Meet up soon alright, precious boy.
Baby Whale heart Baby Sandwich x3.

Love Is Patient,
And Love Is Kind.

.Tuesday, October 27, 2009 ' 10:51 PM

Long ago photo (;

Was supposed to work tomorrow, now everything changed again.
Wonder when can I really start a proper work, keep bombing. What the -'-!
No job = No work = No money, haish cannot even go out for shopping.
Watching television programme for the whole day D; hell lah.
And quarreling with sweetheart in message, quarreling whole day long. Super cool.
What a freaking boring life, people out there want to hate me. Go ahead ba.
Why cannot I be myself? Insisted on hating me, I cannot do anything already.
And sweetheart, if you want to hate me too. You may (; I don't care anymore.
So boring, don't feel like blogging already D; I've a bad temper! Why? D;

screeching violent temperment.
slow forming, quick reaction, time bomb.
sick and twisted ways of settlement bubbles brooding in a crevice.
I have an attitude, and a quick temper, I use weird words, and weird phrases.
Hearing sweetheart telling me to change my temper, or else D;
Because of him, i'll try my very best (; But I never promise him.

♥
Sweetheart,
Sorry that I kept giving you attitude and fucking temper.
My temper is like taking drugs, hard to quit D;
Sweetheart, I try my best to change okay? Because of you (;
Thanks for still accepting my attitude and temper even though you are really angry.
Sweetheart, you are really everything to me now.
I love you dearly (; muacks.

My Lover Knows That I'm A Bad Girl D;
But He Doesn't Mind, He Still Love Me (;

.Monday, October 26, 2009 ' 5:08 AM

Happy 1 Year 1 Month Anniversary (;

This is my Twin Twin over here (;
Just meet her not long, but still missed her lah.
Hope to meet out with her again, as soon as possible!

Baby, It's hard for us to walk for another 1 month in this relationship.
Even though we walked 1 year and 1 month, our quarrel still continues.
We both prayed that no more quarrels will continue, till now still failed D;
I hope from now onwards, there will be no more quarrels going on.
Love is not something that can be refined in a sentence.
It is as strapping as much as it is unconditional, comforting, as it is reassuring,
Powerful as it is everlasting, and anything but superficial.
True loves takes sacrifice, persistence, and patience, caring and endurance.
But most of all is acceptance. To truly love is to give your heart, spirit, and your soul
Into what you believe to be worth what it takes to make pain worth the pleasure.
True love is above and beyond measure, genuine and divine.
So baby, are you my true love? (;

Afternoon went interview in Jurong East with boyfriend.
The person said will call us and so, but I think we are not waiting already.
We decided to work as sales girl, if i'm not wrong we will be starting at this Wednesday.
Hope I won't be bored working alone lah D; Will be separated with boyfriend.
Went boyfriend's house after interview, used computer and fool with her.
Watched Mio - tv until half and went home. Had dinner and blogging over here.
Had to go for Cheers interview tomorrow, if this job is better.
I'll choose this and quit that sales girl job ;x Am I so bad huh?

I've been curious for quite some time about why it is we live and die.
Why life is like a rhythm, why you kill and why people spill each others innereds?
All over where we walk, you know they say the cat was killed for curious thrills,
And your my new thrill (;

♥
Sweetheart.
Happy 13th month anniversary ;D
Should hesitate no more about our love.
Since 26 September 2009 we've been together.
And I'm sure we will be continue walking on until we leave this world.
Love included both parties, if one of us choose to let go.
There's no way we can last till old. Love needs to be caring, faithful
And lastly, tiongxim! Will our love last? Let's decide it together baby (;

You put pride in front of your pleasure that doesn't sound fun at all.
We'll see how far your values go, when I have you against the wall.
You've blinded yourself from ecstasy, but I will make you see.

.Sunday, October 25, 2009 ' 9:56 PM

Yesterday went out with the same people, which is we both group of couple again.
Went Bugis for my interview first, and finally I found a job now (; Super happy lah.
Marina Square afterwards, had our dinner. Fool around, disturbed each other.
If my work start, I wonder will we all still have such a fun outing again.
Maybe drifting apart le, imagine one week only one day meeting baby.
Nevermind, at least we've the chance to have the fun once.
Reached Jurong Point at 10plus, daddy came to drive baby and me home ;D

As for today, I just came back from work not long ago.
Going to bathe and prepare to go to Bugis to pass my photocopy IC to the boss.
And accompany boyfriend to interview too (;
Hopfully she will be accept by the boss too, it will be wonderful! ;D
Gonna meet Darling in the evening, it had been a long time I last seen her.
I missed her super super lots lah, shall see and chat with her in the night with boyfriend.
Tomorrow my work will be starting already, hope it will be a successful one uh ;x
Alright, shall post again if I am really free lah (; Bye readers.

We don't talk quite the way we used to these days,
And it just isn't quite the way it used to be.
We've had our chance to fix it so many times, too many ways.
We aren't quite the same, and you agree.
You've been preoccupied with jokes at my expense.
Laughing at me, I can hear you through the phone.
You've not had the time to come to my defense,
And I can't believe your ' sorry's, cause you've known.
So I've been bitter, writing letters to you.
Redundant poetry of how you've changed too much.
Too many times I've put your lies upon the shelf.
And your apologies just weren't real enough to touch.
And I'verealized, five strikes after strikes three,
That you and I just aren't who we used to be.

♥
Baby Sandwich.
Tomorrow will be our 13 month, but we cannot celebrate.
And I no longer feel the love there already.
I just don't know why, I told myself I've enough of crying.
And I won't allow my tears to drop again.
Sometime if you think that by lying me made you feel better, go ahead.
I'm just a fool to be fool by you, and that's you.
I fucking hate, and haish. I've nothing more to say.

Without Seeing You, I Feel Uneasy.
Without Seeing You Smile, I Feel That World Is In The Dark.
Without Kissing Your Cheeks, I Feel Weird.
Without Holding Your Had, I Feel That You Are Missing.

.Thursday, October 22, 2009 ' 2:53 AM

Alarm clock rang! Woke up, bathe prepared.
Met boyfriend under her void deck, walked to Poineer Mrt again.
Trained down to Buona Vista to interview, before that we went to take breakfast first.
The person who interviewed us, was so damn laolan (; Straight reject. so cool.
Bus back to Buona Vista, asked around whether hiring people. Lol.
Gave up, trained back Jurong Point. Almost every shop we went in to ask.
So sucky larhs, all repeat the same sentence. Wait for people to call you.
Lol. Rewrite our own personal profile for so many times.
Until our hand really tired and numb uh, decided to go home.
Home @ 1pm, watched tv and fall asleep until 4plus.
Computer, bathe and later meeting boyfriend and dar le, free mac treat from dar (;
Post tomorrow, lazy to type so much already ;x

Pain isn't enough to capture this emotion.
To death isn't enough, to capture my devotion.
My heartache is never ending. So I question loves meaning.
I thought love was effortless, fairytales are so misleading.
I don't know what lust is, but dedicated to you I remain.
And that's what love is.

♥
Sweetheart.
I miss you when you're working.
I miss you when you're not around me.
I miss you when I never have the chance to see you.
I miss you wherever I am.
I miss you very very much (;
Sweetheart, I'll love you till the end.

Love Is The Start.
Forever Is The End.

.Tuesday, October 20, 2009 ' 2:59 AM

I miss the three of them in picture lah,
They went missing since school holiday starts. D;
Hope to meet up with them once again, Miss them lots x3.

Early in the morning, woke up prepared everything and walked to boyf's void deck.
Met up with her and walked all the way to Poineer Mrt Station.
Trained down to lakeside to meet Evan, then continue trained down to Clementi.
Took bus to the delifrance factory for interview, guess what?
Boyfriend and I thought we could work immediately? But the person told us that
GM was not in singapore, cannot sign the paper to let us work in this company.
Our face become totally damn shag lah, it was like hell lah. Waited for so long yet ..
Bus back down to Clementi and had our lunch over there, the lor mee was like shit!
Totally tasteless, boyfriend's mee also like shit. We left it there and went off.
Trained back to Poineer, and walked all the way home again!
I swear, today I sweat fucking lots okay! The weather was so fucking hot, I'm melting.
Bathe, used computer awhile. Changed and went out again!
Went Jurong East agency to apply for jobs and so, the person was so funny lah.
Ask us so much question, in the end said. Currently no jobs! Lol.
Boyfriend and I bring the shag face out again, and went off.
Shopped around in IMM, and it was so fucking bored! Home @ 5 plus pm.

I laugh at the statues boy flirting with me yet he failed.
I laugh at the bridge where the boy used to flirt with me.
I laugh at the wars and and bones of offerings that he used to burn for.
I laugh at the immortal souls useless wanderings around like how he used to wander.
I flirt with suicide, sometimes I kill the pain.
I flirt with life inside, sometimes that's okay.
I hate people flirting around, because they thinks that they are handsome.
I hate people flirting around, because they are no different from a beast.
If you are a flirter, don't get near me. Because, I fucking hate it!

I've never asked for much, I've never believed my dreams.
I've never asked for more than I have, but I asked for your love to make me breathe.
Although it was just a empty word. It carried me through the days.
Being with you amde me feel good, your voice, the warmth of your embrace.
At times I felt I was slipping, you grabbed me and pulled me back up,
You had a power to make me smile, you had a hold I believed was love.

♥
Baby Sandwich.
You actually fall asleep while working?
I already told you to sleep early, yet you don't want to listen lah.
See, causes you so tired now? Happy le marhs? Haiyo.
Made me so heart pain, thanks for telling me not to find job.
And you will work and feed me (; Haha, touched to recieved the message.
But, I'll still find a jobs. Don't want you to waste so much money on me.
Thanks lovely baby, I love you so much 我爱你.

Bastard, You Lied Me!
I'm Not Stupid To Fall Into Your Trap.
I knew You Won't Change. (;

.Monday, October 19, 2009 ' 11:47 PM

Woke up @ nearly 12pm in the afternoon, had lunch and used computer.
I have to stay at home today for the whole day. Super bored!
No place to go out, most importantly no money to go out too.
Had some quarrel with mummy, go out also quarrel. Stay at home also quarrel.
What the hell is all this? I'm going mad soon lah.
Television nothing to watch, computer nothing to use.
I think i'm going to pack my cupboard later on, it's so messy lah D;
Hope I can quickly find a job and earn more more money.
I'll end off here, nothing more to write.

life is to short to misunderstand the love that is around you.
so when love is right in front of you dont let it pass you by,
because you'll never know if that was the love of your life that you let go.
but if you think to much on it you'll lose again at having a happy ending.
live for the moment and do not live in the past.
because it can not be re-lived, so say i love you as much as possible.

It's hard for me to believe you, you know yourself the best.
Recall whether did you said before.
No point saying so much already, staying this way might be good for us.
Stop finding trouble for yourself, takecare of yourself too.
No longer contact after today (; Goodbye! 再见.

♥
Baby Sandwich.
First day of working, you are tired already.
Then the rest of the months how are you going to survive?
Rest well, you will use to it soon alright? (;
I will be supporting you in the back, jiayou!
♥Loves;

Sometimes, I Wonder.
What Are Friends For?
Can Anyone Explain To Me?

.Saturday, October 17, 2009 ' 11:40 PM

He said that I've a bad attitude, I cried secretly.
He doesn't know, from then on I'm trying to change my attitude.
I really need lots of time, because I'm not use not to flare up my temper.
I once told him, if he no longer can tolerate me. Just leave me.
He said he won't, who knows about things in future?
Sometimes his so good to me, yet sometimes he hurts me painfully.
I wonder, if he leaves. Will I be happy, normal or sad?
When we are drifting apart, he tried to pull us back.
If one day, I insist of separating both of us, what will he do?
I love his innocent faces, cute smile and silly action.
I feel like hugging him and not letting him go, but how long can I hold you?
Days? months, years or forever?
He changes my life totally, every little silly action he made will made me laugh.

As for some people, I have message and apologised about the attitude I've shown your.
Although sometimes I don't even know that I've attitude anyone.
To myself, I might be joking with the partner of mine.
But other people might think I just gave them attitude?
Now I realised, attitude is one of the important things in human.
Once attitude became sucks, don't think of having a good friend beside you.
Everyone will most likely start to leave you.
We choose how we see people, when we want to like someone.
We can be tolerant. When we want to be irritated by people, we focus on their flaws.
It's not the other people's behaviour that determines how we feel about them.
It's our own attitude!

I hate hongster, lucky I never really fall into the trap of yours.
Sweet talk, concern so what? It's just all lies from you!
I just found out things related to you, never changed but a hongster (;
It was like so damn cool lah. So be it, so regretting know you.
But lucky, we stopped contacting. If not, I'm still hiding in the dark.
Hongster never die? More or less, will die soon lah (;
Don't let me see you again, might be unlucky to see you.

♥
Sandwich,
After you start your work, how long can we meet up?
One week one time?
Or maybe, you have no more time for me anymore.
Whatever it is, takecare when you are working.
Don't always think of playing, do well for your work alright?
Be careful of your safety too, look out for traffic and all that.
Message or call me when you are free okay?
Lastly, baby whale ♥ baby sandwich (;

Staying Faithful Is Still Important,
I Will Be Faithful, Because This Is Me!

.Thursday, October 15, 2009 ' 7:40 AM

One tear drop rolls down slowly down my cheek.
But what was the cause of this emotional peak.
Was this the mark of fears untold? Or of the joy.
Not even the strong could hold? Did the tear betray a simply sad story?
Or a memory of days full of pride and glory?
Was this the tear for the loss of love?
Or in thanks for a gift bestowed from above?
It is a moment meant only for my heart, not shown for the world to destroy or part.

I don't know what more to describe myself, I feel that I kept on hurting people.
Am I a fucking bitch? Or should I just walk single for my life?
So whatever, all guys please fuck off from me.
I'm not a good girl compare to those girls out there.
Bitch and a slut (; I'm one of them.
Nothing more to say, goodbye readers.

♥
Whatever violent acts I do to you, you won't really angry?
But why? Is it worth for you to still love me?
Now I am hurting you fucking lots.
If can, stay away from me.
Because I am a bitch and slut (;
Thinking this way, will made you feel better.
Find a better girl, because i'm no longer the past me.
I will never be very faithful already, my heart had enough of those hurts.
Sorry, i'm nothing better.

I No Longer Faithful,
Because I'm Afraid To Be Hurt Again.

.Tuesday, October 13, 2009 ' 8:55 AM

Gotcha guys! (; I'm so sleepy today D; Don't know why!
Ate porridge that mummy cooked, bathe and went out (;
Work with Peiwen' boyfriend, was so fucking bored.
No customer once again! Sigh, restless until I nearly fall asleep.
Asked Peiwen to help me massage, so damn shiok!
She asked me to massage her back too D; See, boyfriend behaved so bad.
Slacked near my house there and reached home @ about 11pm plus (;

If roses are red, violent are blue.
How can I express my love for you?
Pretty little things do not avidly show,
The handiwork of Cupid's bow.
How long has it been since I was free?
Surely you know my heart's treachery.
You're all I can think about,
And that is a fact. I feel like I've made a demo's pact.
For when you're near, heavy my heart grows.
Come with me, my dear! To places nobody knows (;

♥
Thanks for everying that you're willing to change for me.
I've not been a good girlfriend, but you never show me faces.
Thanks for everything, whether will we still continue?
Let god decide everything (; Takcare of yourself.

True Love Does Not Come By Finding
The Perfect Person But By Learning To See
An Imperfect Person Perfectly (;

.Monday, October 12, 2009 ' 1:23 AM

Lazy to elaborate much about yesterday, morning went to work and
went relative's wedding in the afternoon and night.
Had shark fin and abalone to eat, but I feel so eek.
Because I don't like to eat, abalone like rubber. Shark fin like saliva, Lol.
I made it a bit too disgusting, mummy said I am stupid.
Expensive things yet i treated it as saliva and rubber? Haha.
Home @ 12am plus, bathe and slept immediately. I'm so tired already D;

As for today woke up quite early, prepare and meet Leelim' dar.
Trained down to Little India, for working. But so fcuk, lazy to elaborate.
Trained down to Pasir ris, was going to escape and guess what?
Escape Themepark was closed, what the fuck. Why today so unlucky huh?
Handphone battery low and whatever, I was like. Haish, forget it.
Quarrel with so many people and so, forget it, I don't feel like updating alredy.

I've got an attitude, that won't be broken.
I’ve got the eyes to see. What’s beyond my future,
Nothing but dark clouds, storm up ahead.
But it won’t get me down this time, I’ll try to fight through it!
I’ve got a smile that’ll stay on my face, scare away everyone,
But hey, at least I’m smiling. Set on the go.

♥
Don't bother to write so much le,
Everything regarding you.
I no longer bother.

Remembering, Thinking, Predicting.
Seething, Yelling, Screaming.
Crying, Dripping, Falling.
Raining, Melting, Feeling.
Battling, Destroying, Fixing.
Melding, Caring, Darling.
Sharing, Laughing, Seeing.
Believing, Smiling, Kissing.
Loving and Being? (;

.Saturday, October 10, 2009 ' 6:39 AM

Woke up @ 9plus, reply message and went to bathe.
Went out with family to Chinatown and Jurong East, it's bored!
Home @ 5plus, on computer for awhile and went off to meet Peiwen' boyfriend.
Slacked and chatted, Leelim' dar came afterwards. Went Poineer Mall,
Was supposed to buy ice cream la, machine down. And we walked all the way to Gek Poh.
Ate our ice cream and we mention our seconday 3 life, we really missed it.
Whereby all of us are in the same class and so, disturbed each other.
Played with each other, find trouble together, and punished together.
All had been past, and I swear until now I still miss it a lot! D;
We used to sit together in classroom, sleep together while teacher is teaching.
Now, everything had gone. When can I find back those happiness again?
Sigh! Hope after this year, all of us will not separate. I really hope so D;

A dream, so illusive.
A delusion, so excessive.
A fantasy, so compulsive.
A desire, so incisive.
A wish, too massive.
A lie, yet permissive.
My dream, still passive.

After stop schooling, then I realised how much I miss that bloody school.
Although it's sickening studying in this stupid school.
But this school have a lot of my memories with friends and boyfriend.
Maybe some are drifting from me already, but I still must thanks god for giving me chance
To know them and realised that actually friends are very important.
In this school, faced ups and downs with friends.
But fun time always passes very fast, yet trouble and problems are still up inside my head.
Thanks all friends for tolerating my attitude and temper.
Standing beside me when i'm sad and what so ever, that's call friends! < Loved!

♥
Everything had completely changed.
I don't seems to be yours,
And you don't seems to be mine too.
Doing our own things where days goes by.
Haish, it's okay.

Between Friends And Stead,
I'll Choose Friends First (;

.Friday, October 9, 2009 ' 9:20 AM

Woke up @ 9plus, bathe and finish everything bus down to Central.
Meet Peiwen, Jastine, Leelim and Libin came too (;
Highlighted my hair with Leelim, it's gold colour! But, they highlighted as if
They don't have the skill, forget it! Causes me $50 somemore, Lol.
Went to have lunch and bid goodbye to Jastine and Libin.
Bus down to Jurong East with Peiwen and Leelim, took my handphone to repair.
Went IMM afterwards to disturb Kaixin when she's working (; Haha, cute la she!
Disturbing each other until we laughed real loud, such a cute jie ;D
Walked round the whole IMM with all of them, and stupid her.
So lazy to work and kept loitering with us in IMM, gangster huh she!
Craps, Nonsense and everything. She suddenly feel like going home.
Then Peiwen and I took over her job, it's so super slack larhhs.
Nobody came, even insects! Loitering with Peiwen' boyfriend.
Back to work, we almost went crazy! Lots and lots customer came.
Bus home @ 10plus, went Central to pass Kaixin' Jie money and walked back home.

A relationship is not a switch, you cannot flick between yes and no.
You have a decide which way to go, just make sure you take it slow.
You want a man to treat you best, a man that stand out from the best.
I want a man that keeps me safe. A man that will not disgrace,
And is not ashamed to take me on a date, a guy that will let me free.
Someone who will hold me tight, one that loves me at first sight.

You once told me, you won't give up until you have me by your side.
But, it seems like after months and you choose to give me up.
Guys words are not meant to be trust, and I knew it.
I'll never let any guys to enter my heart anymore.
As I know, love will takes away people's life.
Love will made people's tears flowing down non-stop.
Love will made people's mind fly everywhere.
And lastly, fall into love is committing suicide!

♥
Find me, Hold me.
Kiss me, Love me.
Thrill me, Move me.
Help me, Heal me.
Bond me, Chill me.
Fight Me, Burn me.
Leave me, Hate me.
Break me, Break me, Break me!

Distance Relationship,
I've Use To It.
Therefore, I Choose To Be Alone.

.Thursday, October 8, 2009 ' 8:04 AM

Hmm, Maths paper confirmed die le D; Walao, so difficult! Fine.
Leelim's house to revise for Geography and half watching television (;
Back school for Geography exam, staring at that stupid Boon Chong,
Doing so many stupid idiotic stunt, staring at the exam paper with question
Marks inside my brain? Sigh! Anyhow do and slept through the paper.
Went Hanhui's house to lend toilet and off to basketball court.
Played, mood swing off to Waston for awhile and home sweet home ;D
Bathe and went out with family to fetch brother from work and Redhill for dinner.
Jurong Point and home sweet home again, msn and updating blog now.

We are all going our separate ways,
And I will miss the closeness we all once had.
Had the keyword to the past, how can one moment ruin a lifetime of trust.
Our bond is no longer held together by the fabric of time,
One snip from the scissors tore us all apart.
I always looked to each one of you for advice, but time changed, we changed.
One goes with the another, and I get caught in the middle.
The memories of yesterday are always haunting in mind, I want us to laugh together.

What is friendship? Is it rose or is it thorn?
Is it love or is it hate? Is it something that we could just walk by?
Friendship to me is something that should be known.
Like a bird helping it's mate with the nest building,
Or a human swinging on the swing with another pushing,
Friendship to me is something that I am treasuring.
I know, I know I have not many friends in real life
And people backstab me, are they called friends?
But I do have real, true friends on the internet.
Sure, I can't see them or hug them,
But I can talk with them about my problems.
Or how i feel they listen, unlike those in real life.
What they type in the screen, could be something that makes me smile.
Or something that could make me worry, they've always been there for me.
And they always will be, they are true friends.
True friends talk, true friends try try to let you in on the fun.
True friends worry about and and ask you what's wrong,
True friends don't ask for presents in return, instead, they say it's okay.
If you're reading this guys, then take note;
You are my life, my love, and my soul.
You made me who I am today, you are the reason why I still exist.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart, for being there for me.

♥
Am I heartless?
Then in the past, what you did to me?
I've wasted all my tears on you.
Isn't it enough? I'm heartless.
Yes, I am.

Friends Are Important Than Stead.
Friends Will Be There For You Compared To Stead.

.Wednesday, October 7, 2009 ' 6:31 AM

Went to Leelim dar's house with Peiwen' boyfriend.
Watched mio tv, talk cock and disturb each other (;
Bus down to Poineer mall for mac, after mac. Giant and went Peiwen's house.
Study, and talk cock half way. Thanks them for teaching me graph huh.
Made me looked so toot, I think N level i'm prepare to go to hell (;
They seems like understand everything, but me? Nothing!
I'm in dead meat soon already, sigh! Oh ya this few days, i'm so fucking suay la.
Yesterday hamster die, today leh? Handphone spoilt? How cool is it larhs.
Made me really so fucking dulan la, sigh! Aiya, dun feel like mentioning it already.

Sometimes I wondered, what are friends for?
Sometimes I wondered, what are stead for?
Sometimes I wondered, what are family for?
Sometimes I wondered, what are this above things for?
When i'm low, anyone of them standby me? Haish.
Life are so complicated, and I simply hate it!

Anyone who says I am lucky to be me, must be deceived by what they see;
I'm not the person i'm used to be, it's now a lie you see.
I wanted to be confident, happy and fun.
But I ended up instead, negative, unhappy and glum.
Either concealing, or revealing myself too much;
Now you see, i'm not as lucky as such.
Now everyone sees what I lack, what can I do to get on track?
Anyone who said I was lucky to be me, now know that they were deceived.
It was a lie they'd seen, and I was not as I seemed.

♥
Sorry.
I'm not worth.

Unlucky,
And I'm One Of Them?
-'- !

.Tuesday, October 6, 2009 ' 4:51 AM

Well, woke up by a lot of message. Had my breakfast and revised for my maths.
Jastine and Peiwen came to teach me as well as revising together.
Reached school, heart seems like jumping up and down D;
Once I saw the exam paper, I told myself. This time, i'm really dead.
Sigh! Cannot finish in time, examiner said stop I still kept on writing ;x
Okay fine, dun feel like mentioning about exams anymore.
Peiwen recieved message from her brother that my hamster already died.
I was like what the fuck, I stunt for awhile. Haish, although I feel really sad
Just that I didn't wanted to show out, the moment i reached home
I started thinking how I play with this hamster until she's growing fatter.
I remembered in the past, Jianwei never accompany me. This hamster standby me
All the time, now that she's left. I don't know when I need accompany who will standby me.
I promise I won't buy anymore pets, by not making them to lost their life.
Seriously, crying super lots now. As long as memories are still around D;
Why today, I seems to be so unlucky uh? Haish.

I won't let any guys to enter my life and heart anymore,
They are lying like nobody business, promise to standby me?
But they are just talking cock, yet I trusted them.
I'm so deeply disappointed in them, but it's okay.
I won't let those little things to affect my mood, i'm trying to be strong.
And I know that it's always sweet from the start, slowly.
Well it's like so fuck? (; I've use to it already.
And I simply hate them! Break promise? Go ahead (;

I wish you could just see how much you are killing me.
I care too much it's always been my problem, I still think about you.
Tell me there's us and i'm yours. Stay with the one that kills you, hurt you.
I'm not your fish but i'm on the line, do you like me or was that a lie?
Make up your mind, don't just walk away from me.
I can't just sit there watching at you, take me or leave me
But please don't mislead me.

♥
Can't I have my own friends?
Am I wrong to have a boy friend?
Since in the past, you have so many girl friend,
And you told me was just friends, so what if I go out with my boy friend?
I think both of us should have our own freedom, don't tie me too hard.
I hate that!

Fear Of Misleading
Mislead World
Mislead HeartBreak.

.Monday, October 5, 2009 ' 6:53 AM

Had Science paper in the morning, it was totally like shit.
And I know I confirmed failed for sure, what the hell D;
Studied until 2.30am last night, trying to stay awake and study hard.
But, it was still haish, speechless larhs. Nevermind, it's past already.
After school, Leelim's house slacked and kena bully at the same time ='(
She went school for exam, Jastine and Peiwen came my house to made
Messy my cupboard, so cool lorhs (; smart of them. Idiotic!
Bus down to Hanhui's house for studying, seems like nothing goes inside.
So shag lorhs, nevermind. I'll update until here, so stress and tiring leh.

I've got an attitude, the attitudes of people should be to love one another.
Then why is it we make people suffer, by judging on language.
Race, or culture. Picking and tearing, ripping like a vulture.
Do unto others as they do unto you, Would you like being looked at askew.
All men should follow that golden rule,
You don't even know them, yet you think them as a fool.

I wonder why did people change so much after sometime?
I wonder why people need to be so selfish, does it bring proud to themself?
I wonder why people are making use of each other, does it look cool?
I wonder why people are gossiping behind people's back, look bitch isn't it?
I wonder why there are so many weird people living in this world, -'- them off.

♥
I'm a attitude girl (;
This morning, finally you speak out what you wanted to say.
Let me understand that you are enduring me so much.
You are suppose to speak out earlier on, but you hide it.
It's okay (; Nevermind, thanks for speaking out the truth.

Mad Person Are Loithering In This World,
They Looked Crazy And Cool (;

.Sunday, October 4, 2009 ' 8:41 AM

Happy Birthday To Evon Sim (;

Yesterday was lantern festival, enjoyed ourself near xingnan (;
It's not really fun larhs, quite boring. But we had some joke over there too.
Reached home @ 12 midnight, bathe and immediately sleep.
As for today, bus down to xingnan to meet Hanhui, Wilson, Jianwei, Zhenyuan,
Chingyen and Peiwen. Saw kevin and his friend, he decided to go with us to
Evon's chalet. Went IMM to buy cake and walked a long distance to the chalet.
Was bored when we reached, slowly the atmosphere getting better ba.
Stupid Evon kept hugging people leh. Hug until so tight I nearly lost breathe, Lol.
Home @ nearly 10pm, on phone with Xuanwei. Half revising my Science.
Bathe, phone with Xuanwei, revising and using computer.
Hope tomorrow I will pass my N level larhs, god bless me please D;

I want Jastine' Darling to recover from her fever (;
I want Peiwen' Boyfriend to be happy no matter what happen (;
I want Leelim' Dar to recover from her disgusting sore eyes (;
I want Chingyen to find back her relationship and live happily (;
I want Jubellina' Mummy to do well for her N level tomorrow (;
I want Zhenyuan to be alright no matter what happen (;
I want Xuanwei to cheerup and don't stress up because of relationship (;
I want Jianwei to stop being a gamer freak (;

I feel as if i'm dying here, falling away from everything near.
Standing still, falling down. You were always around,
You were always there keeping me sound. You are always near,
My eyes are filled with tears, longing just to see you near.
i feel as if im trying to hard, trying to hard to save myself,
trying to see myself through you're eyes, i feel as if im failing to see,
everything you've seen in me, you can always rely on me,
you can always cry on me, i will always be around, trying to keep you on solid

♥
I'm not a good girlfriend, I'm so deeply sorry.
Finding stress and bringing burden to you.
Maybe it's really wrong for us to be together.
Whatever it is, after N level then we solve the problem.
Thanks for whatever you have do to me (;

Wishing To Fly Away With Wings,
To A Place Where I Can Throw All My Unhappy Stuff.

.Friday, October 2, 2009 ' 2:29 AM

Reached school @ 7.30am, today purposely late for school.
But too bad, no punishment leh? I wanted to have punishment!
Because next week will be our last week in school, and N level cannot be late.
I wanted to have the last punishment of walking round the field, -'-
Went back class, do Maths homework and chatted with classmates.
Recess time, had our breakfast together. It might be our last gathering already D;
I really miss those time in this school, studied for 4 years in this school.
Wanted us to leave, it will be quite uncomfortable but no choice.
Reflection period, Mr Chong wanted us to write an essay about,
' What will I miss when I leave Juying Secondary School '?
Wrote full page of it, and I've apologised to Mr Chong in the letter (;
I feel rather better now, alright readers! I'm so stress and tired now!

It doesn't hurt to feel pain, but pain to know others are hurt.
And that it's all caused me. But why did I have to cause it?
And why did you have to make me cry?
Why did I have to break myself because of it?
And why did you have to do it? You broke me and just left my shell.
Why am I even here? I'm still alone just like you said.
I'm still hurt, I'm still and outsider.
Dumb, stupid freak. I wasn't like others I knew that long ago.
I was not like anyone else. Because I couldn't make something right.
Stupid freak! Who made me think so about myself?
I made my think so, I was always the problem.
Or was that what you made me? Made me like this?
Nothing seems to change, I know now this is who I really am.

♥
I've been too much.
Having a boyfriend is suppose to love,
And you are suppose to love me.
Then when you stop caring,
And why should i care?

When You Stead With A Person Longer,
You Might Eventually Lost Feelings For The Person
For A Period Of Time As You And Him Are Together For Long
And You Would Have Burden In Both Hearts.
You Will Find Out That You Are Actually Relying On Him,
So Even If You Break With Him.
It Won't Be Wholeheartly.

.Thursday, October 1, 2009 ' 6:01 AM

School as usual, chatted awhile and suddenly feel so tired.
Slept through out the 4 period until recess time, so cool (;
Craps in the humanities room when Maths period, super fun larhs.
Felt so worried for my N level next week, because I totally know nothing D;
Shared a lot things with Zhihan' Bestie, make fun of each other too ;x
After school, slacked at Leelim Dar's house awhile and off to Jurong Point library.
No matter how hard I tried to study for my exam, nothing went inside my brain.
Sigh, I've no hope for my N level lerhs. God bless me D;
Home @ 7,15, mood swing. Goodbye readers!

Do people change? Honestly? At their core.
So people become different? Can they become better people?
Can they become worse people? Is it all about perspective?
Do people change? As the days drag on?
As I watch you tear yourself apart, rip apart your future.
Carve at your happiness, And shatter your soul.
I have to wonder, can people change?
As my friends advise me against you, as I watch you in hallways.
As I see your masks falling away, as I look into your eyes.
Pondering what made you so angry. What made you so bent on revenge?
What make you turn to pot, I have to wonder do people change?
As the world goes on, as you drop out.
Get pulled under, Get depressed and stepped on.
Beaten down and use more heavily, as your world falls apart.
As my heart goes out to you again, I have to wonder. Could you have changed?

♥
You really have changed.
I never gonna trust you again,
You made me simply lost everything towards you.
From now on, nothing more to say about you.
I think my decision is up, and it will never change.
Takecare!

You Will Lost Everything Within A Day,
Things Are Unstoppable.