.Friday, November 26, 2010 ' 5:10 PM
My mind tells me to give up,
But my heart won't let me.
Neglected Feeling
which person Loved to be neglected by their boyfriend/girlfriend?
i believed nobody like. Same goes to me, sometime i wondered why am i treated so unfairly.
my girlfriend got their boyfriend to message, or talk to each other in phone.
my boyfriend most likely everyday will call me, but now he hang out with his friends.
and i supposed that he already forgotten that he have a girlfriend, and where's his girlfriend.
i just hope You won't regret for what You are doing now, just because You have your friends.
You dumped me aside, once remember me then give me a text making me happy for a short while.
can You stop adding onto my stress if You don't even have the heart to stay with me at all.
please leave la, i rather You dump me forever than dumping me bit by bit till i feel so dead inside.
when i need You, where are You? When You need me, did i appear?
i've been treated like a dog and clinging onto You when You needed me.
You mean all i did was never enough to make You feel that i Loved You that much?
this is the maximum i can give out already, holding You back a not. All relying on You.
i kept holding You back, You kept trying to run away from me. I shall let You be happy isn't it?
i won't be selfish this time, my relationship was always sucky than anyone else.
just because i was once a bitch, and i wasn't given any chance to change myself.
sometime i wondered is god being unfair to me? why treated me in this way.
as in use that man to come and hurt me again and again and made me still Love him so much.
and once in a while i think back, perhaps god is teaching me not to fall in Love so deeply.
i will get back to same hurting and pain if i continue being so clinging onto a relationship.
maybe it does make me have a mature thinking, but still i need time to get rid of memories.
it kinda hard, but i believe i shall move on my life without him. He shall be my memories.
i'll move on to a place and station at a place which there's a man willing to share things together.
i always thought that if i stop thinking of him, i can forget him faster. I'm wrong.
it's the time that matter, at least i'll never cry for him like as if someone is dying or so.
it's time for me to grow up and have a better mind set and live on my life with happiness (:
close your eyes and pretend You didn't see a thing,
i guess it won't hurt that much then ..
.Saturday, November 20, 2010 ' 12:41 PM
I may not have given You a lot to remember,
but please don't forget me.
What's wrong?
what happened to some couples recently?
broke up after such a long relationship, maybe it might be months.
but the time they spend together was like the relationship was really v. long.
i hope those who just broke up, can reflect on what to do to patch back again.
finding a person whom You really cherish and Love was really a v. hard thing to do.
like me, i was once a bitchy and i dumped my favorite man.
he changed, i accepted. Because i was the one at faults, & i still Love him.
in a relationship need two hands to claps, give in to each other if possible.
i'm in a relationship of 8th Month now, but seriously i wasn't happy at all.
he neglected me, we're only able to meet once in a week.
how much i miss him, how much i wanna talk to him. We just couldn't.
i'm not happy with my life at all, i prefer we can go back to our secondary life.
which im able to see You 1 week full solid. Really, but everything wasn't the same anymore.
i just want to see You safe & living happily with your life.
when You lose someone, someone You Love. When they break your heart.
it's the hardest thing You could ever go through and no matter how much time has passed,
it never really goes away. You may think You're getting better, but then You get a flashback,
or hear a song that reminds You of a memory, and it hits You all over again,
all at once, like a stab in the chest. You fall apart for the hundredth time.
and You just feel like You just want to crawl under a rock and never come out.
You love this person with all of your heart, even You know You shouldn't.
they hurt You worse than You've ever been hurt, they stole your happiness.
but yet, You still want them and only them. Other people come a long and give You
chances to move on but You know You don't want to, it upsets You that You might be moving on
because You promised You never would and even though they broke all their promises.
You want to keep yours on top of that, You're terrified, terrified of getting hurt again.
at the end of the day You're still thinking about the person who has left You completely broken.
You don't want to miss them anymore, You don't want to love them anymore,
but You know You always will.
i hope that one day You will realize
that i really care.
what happened to some couples recently?
broke up after such a long relationship, maybe it might be months.
but the time they spend together was like the relationship was really v. long.
i hope those who just broke up, can reflect on what to do to patch back again.
finding a person whom You really cherish and Love was really a v. hard thing to do.
like me, i was once a bitchy and i dumped my favorite man.
he changed, i accepted. Because i was the one at faults, & i still Love him.
in a relationship need two hands to claps, give in to each other if possible.
i'm in a relationship of 8th Month now, but seriously i wasn't happy at all.
he neglected me, we're only able to meet once in a week.
how much i miss him, how much i wanna talk to him. We just couldn't.
i'm not happy with my life at all, i prefer we can go back to our secondary life.
which im able to see You 1 week full solid. Really, but everything wasn't the same anymore.
i just want to see You safe & living happily with your life.
when You lose someone, someone You Love. When they break your heart.
it's the hardest thing You could ever go through and no matter how much time has passed,
it never really goes away. You may think You're getting better, but then You get a flashback,
or hear a song that reminds You of a memory, and it hits You all over again,
all at once, like a stab in the chest. You fall apart for the hundredth time.
and You just feel like You just want to crawl under a rock and never come out.
You love this person with all of your heart, even You know You shouldn't.
they hurt You worse than You've ever been hurt, they stole your happiness.
but yet, You still want them and only them. Other people come a long and give You
chances to move on but You know You don't want to, it upsets You that You might be moving on
because You promised You never would and even though they broke all their promises.
You want to keep yours on top of that, You're terrified, terrified of getting hurt again.
at the end of the day You're still thinking about the person who has left You completely broken.
You don't want to miss them anymore, You don't want to love them anymore,
but You know You always will.
i hope that one day You will realize
that i really care.
.Thursday, November 18, 2010 ' 5:25 AM
Sometime,
I just need someone to talk to.
I just need someone to talk to.
The man i would marry
1. someone who thinks I'm pretty even if i have no makeup on & even if my hair is messy.2. someone who will play with my hair while I'm lying down on his tights.
3. someone who will give me a back and head massage whenever i feel pressured and stressed.
4. someone who will buy my comfort food whenever i feel bad.
5. someone who treat me right.
6. someone who could get along with my family and friends.
7. someone who will not think I'm stupid.
8. someone's who's very responsible to take care of me and my family.
9. someone who will spoil me.
10. someone promise to love & never hurt me.
I have screwed up a million times and each time i have done it differently,
in the past, i could make big fuss over things.
now i don't really, even though things happened. Most likely, i will hackcare.
no point confronting You when You don't even dare to tell me the truth right?
sometime your words hurt, but You weren't know.
to You it was just joking. You think it's joking or funny to me ? =.=
the reason why i hardly text-ed You, because You don't like to return my message.
the reason why i hardly called You, because no matter how many times i called,
You will just bloody press away and hang my call isn't it?
reason was, You are playing with your phone games.
You know how much can i still endure? Maybe 10 more percent.
i tried all my best already, boy. I really really gave up.
Jingyi told You a lot of my things, ask You to read my blog. I know You didn't.
she said I was emo, You told her i always emo emo & You don't know why.
You don't even take sometime to read what's inside me. You're fucked useless.
You have a girlfriend, & You asked your own girlfriend. Why no one get number from You?
You want, i could ask them get number from You. Just for the sake of them asking You for number.
You really don't understand me and You bloody hurt me billion -'- it man.
there are days where i feel
like escaping from everything ;
.Wednesday, November 3, 2010 ' 12:50 PM
I love You
I really really love You
But I'm really tired .
Fuck Love -'-
Loving a person wasn't easy, therefore why was it called love.
now i have decided to use the hardest word goodbye to end everything.
i trusted him, he hide things from me.
i treated him good, he took me for granted.
i never flared up my temper, he thought that i have get used of everything.
if by saying goodbye do solve, & it doesn't hurt You. I'm leaving.
being together nearly 8 months again, did You think a bit for me?
fucking You basket, comment other girls -'- sweet with other girls -'-
yeah I'm a human without heart ? So that You can think that it's nothing.
oh just fuck it man, who are You? I'm gonna fuck it upside down .
supposed to be a revenged, ended up it just oh fuck it man.
I'm never gonna ever sad and tear for You again.
I use my life to swear it, it won't effect me sooner. Basket, I hate You -'-
I found out so many things, but i never confront You.
because i still thought of not quarreling with You.
i texted You, tell me reason that You are working.
& i bloody saw You replying people in facebook.
i got quarrel with You anot ? i act i don't know anything.
and You ever have the fucking cheek to lie to me.
all thanks to You, i really gave up lahhs basket bastard.
seriously, You're nothing to me from then on.
piece of shit that i wasted so many years loving for. Nabei fucker ;
Freedom or Control,
freedom will be your answer.
& i shall let You go and find your happiness
as well as freedom.
Loving a person wasn't easy, therefore why was it called love.
now i have decided to use the hardest word goodbye to end everything.
i trusted him, he hide things from me.
i treated him good, he took me for granted.
i never flared up my temper, he thought that i have get used of everything.
if by saying goodbye do solve, & it doesn't hurt You. I'm leaving.
being together nearly 8 months again, did You think a bit for me?
fucking You basket, comment other girls -'- sweet with other girls -'-
yeah I'm a human without heart ? So that You can think that it's nothing.
oh just fuck it man, who are You? I'm gonna fuck it upside down .
supposed to be a revenged, ended up it just oh fuck it man.
I'm never gonna ever sad and tear for You again.
I use my life to swear it, it won't effect me sooner. Basket, I hate You -'-
I found out so many things, but i never confront You.
because i still thought of not quarreling with You.
i texted You, tell me reason that You are working.
& i bloody saw You replying people in facebook.
i got quarrel with You anot ? i act i don't know anything.
and You ever have the fucking cheek to lie to me.
all thanks to You, i really gave up lahhs basket bastard.
seriously, You're nothing to me from then on.
piece of shit that i wasted so many years loving for. Nabei fucker ;
Freedom or Control,
freedom will be your answer.
& i shall let You go and find your happiness
as well as freedom.
