♥ It doesn't last forever.

.Wednesday, June 29, 2011 ' 2:44 PM

You can love two people at the same time

but never at the same degree.

well, started my new job yesterday. It's a pretty cool job, which doesn't need much brain.

was feeling bored during work time, as i have not yet learn much skill and knowledge.

heard that there's a new girl coming tomorrow. Hopefully, i can get well with her.

my boss is a damn good person, today he actually packed rice, drinks for me.

without wanting me to pay him back, where to find such a good boss.

i appreciated, and of course i will cherish him as well (:

i learnt how to open cheque to client and all that, perhaps it's a good start.

i need to earn a lot of $$ and enjoy myself for my future, babyboy is earning hard too.

mostly in the office i've been doing nothing, other than facebook-ing, watch movie, blogging.

i want to work hard and strike for the better, O's is coming. My heart nearly stopped. Lol.

alright, recently heard a lot of trusting towards relationship/friendship.

to me, i would like to advice those who trust your friend/stead for like 100%

please correct your own mind set, there will never be a 100% trusting towards a person.

so what if family member, open your eyes big and decide every single things properly.

to me, so yeah what if i am with my babyboy for like 6 years?

his still not yet reach the extent that i should even trust him, to me his not worth trusting.

but yeah i still stupidly love him so much, maybe i owe him too much in my previous life.

everyday i feel that his lying to me, he maybe still contacting some girls which i hate.

i don't know and he know everything the best, i can give him all the things he want.

i can fulfill his wish, but what about mine? i want to mention your name proudly to my friend.

that you're going to be my best baby, husband. May i? Something eventually stopped me.

the trust and everything is going to stop very soon, be it the love or hate.

everything have it's own limit, & my limit of everything is reaching.

love, yeah i love you. But i can't let myself suffer even more, it's my own future.

never gonna let it land it flat in your hand.

when i delete someone from my contacts in my phone,

it feels like i'm deleting that person from existence.

prevention is better than cure.

.Sunday, June 26, 2011 ' 2:52 PM

Old enough to know better,
Young enough to do it anyway.

celebrated my bitch birthday, was kinda late for her celebration.
met jeff, pearlyn, peiwen, hwa keong and babyboy. Everybody late a little.
ended up = super late, lol! Well, stop those craps and start real topic.
my bitch was really happy on her birthday i suppose, her boyfriend proposed to her.
oh my god, sweet can. How i wish babyboy do that to me too! ):
talk cock, run here and there chasing some asshole. Ate, listen to some jokes.
time passed super fast. Peiwen, babyboy and I left the chalet around 3plus am.
decided to stay @ peiwen's house, i went home to shower while 2 of them waiting for me.
off to peiwen's house, babyboy kept on wanting to play dota like a childish man.
while peiwen and i went to sleep, & that irritating babyboy kept on irritate me while i'm sleeping.
slept for like 1 hour, prepare everything and headed out.
peiwen went to find boyfriend, while i accompany babyboy home as he needs to prepare.
i slept throughout for like 1 and the half hour, while babyboy is preparing himself.
babyboy then realized that i'm on fever, he covered me with a lot of towel.
cooked egg for me to eat before i can take medicine.
this is the first 5 years that, his treating me so caring movement.
at that very moment, how i wish things never stop. He feed with the egg too, k. His great.

went out after taking medicine, heading to universal studio once again.
this is the second time i went to universal, but i don't feel nervous or excited at all.
i was really super sleepy, babyboy never slept for one day. His even hyper than me! LOL.
cylon for that day is really omg, terrible & shiok! Was faster than the previous time i went.
babyboy and i was having a zombie look, we really buay tahan and feel like leaving @ 4pm.
anyway went with leelim & boyfriend, peiwen & boyfriend, and two more lady.
dragged dragged dragged, till 7plus. I was really super tired.
babyboy fall asleep, while having fries. And i finished my fries and went dozing off too.
babyboy and i left first before 8pm, really no more energy. Cabbed home.
shower and immediately slept till the next morning, cool or wad.
happy to receive baby's morning message. I admitted, i really fall back in love with him again.

never force someone to love you, let that person perfectly fall.
because it's nicer to let gravity do the motion than forcely grab affection without attraction.
you've pissed me off, you've made me cry.
you've made me scream but at the end of the day,
i wouldn't want to be with anyone but you.
when you really love someone, age, height, weight or even distance
is just a freaking number to anybody.

for that night i almost did something wrong,
i stopped everything from happening.

.Wednesday, June 22, 2011 ' 11:59 PM

I made a wish,
and it never came true.

Firstly, wishing my dearest babyboy a happy 18th birthday! x3
had movie with babyboy @ Yishun, watched laddaland.
babyboy was really a scary cat, he all the way cover his eyes with his hand.
i was like, nevermind and keep on holding so tightly on my hand!
haha, he was like cute la. Used to be so brave and then watch ghost movie so scared!
after movie, rushed back to Jurong Point for another movie. X-men (:
it was a damn marvelous movie too, can be compare with Green Lantern.
after movie, treated babyboy for dinner @ Fig and Olive.
after max, toilet to do business together and off to meet his and mine ah bunk ah dey.
gave babyboy surprises, and well im glad that he actually really enjoyed himself a lot.
it's because his friend attended too,haha. His wish was like his own friend will be there too.
and well this is my surprises for him, everyone throw flour on him.
poor babyboy was like as white as a piece of paper sheet! Haha, damn man.
after that, babyboy went friend's house and i went off with my all of my girlfriend too.
chatted, and while waiting to be 12am to rush to leelim's house to celebrate with her.
stayed at her house almost reaching 2am, and all of us went home.

never tell someone lies
just to spare their feelings.

.Monday, June 20, 2011 ' 4:21 PM

Those were yesterday's feeling.

i've finally realize all the mistake that you've done only yesterday.
it shows how smart and you and how stupid am i to realize it only now.
my heart was totally broke into damn pieces, which i didn't lied you.
it hurts more than anything else after hearing what you've said.
come on, for you i've done everything i can.
we've been together since 13 years old, for those time when we broke off.
i swear that heart there is always a little space that you're in.
for you, you even admitted that for me. You've once stop loving for.
everything you do seriously hurts, although it's all past.
i feel that it will be back anytime again, i should convince myself to believe it.
you're still the wrong man i've seen, although till now i still love you a lot.
for the time i choose to let go, why did you come back to me?
wanted to find a person to hurt, and you remember i'll always be there.?
there's no more next time, i'm trying to stop everything now before things happen again.

i am who i am, becase of the people who knocked me down,
and the ones who helped me up. The one who got inside my head,
and the ones who told me the reality.
the friends i've lost, and the ones i've gained
the people in my life, that have given me memories; good or bad.

pain eventually makes people change.
the one who is going to change will gonna be me.
seriously i am not a second fucking choice.
sometimes we waste too much time to think about
someone that doesn't think about us for a second.

learn to appreciate what you have,
before time makes you appreciate what you had.

.Monday, June 13, 2011 ' 11:59 PM

I keep telling myself
" this is the last time",
but it just keeps happening.

babyboy brought me to the universal studio on the 10th of June.
enjoyed myself a lot, we seems like entering a new beautiful world ^^
had the first ride at revenge of mummy, the queue was so super long and scary.
have been trembling after i get down from the ride, it's interesting but to me was all fear.
after that sat on the red roller coaster, lol! it's another scary one.
came down with jelly leg, walking like as if i'm going to fall anytime on the floor.
the roller-coaster was just so damn steep. i hate it! i feel like shouting out, but no voice came out!
watched some performance by the people inside, had 4D streak movie too.
it's nice but babyboy and i was sitting at the last row, the view of watching was not really nice.
was forced to take blue roller-coaster, it's the 360 degree most frightening game ever!
i declined to take, babyboy kept on nagging, dragging and scolded me or blahblahblah.
i still rejected, ended up he went up himself. He came down, we went for dinner.
the food was just so damn expensive, lol. Like robbery in the daylight! (:
after that, his mouth started again kept on nagging, dragging me all the way to the roller-coaster.
i told him once i get down from the blue roller-coaster i will never forgive him,
sitting on the roller-coaster with heart jumping super duper fast -.- all thanks to him.
afterall, i feel that blue roller-coaster was better than the red one! (:
it's just all about 360 degree turning, red one was more to like steep sliding down. LOL!
in the end i also forgave him, and he took advantages. LOL, dragged me up again.
i was like yelling, screaming, nagging, shouting that i reluctant, too bad i was up again -.-
took few pictures only, overall i still enjoyed with babyboy! :D his great!

evon overnight at my house on the 10th, on the 11th. Woke up 11 plus, shower.
and off to central with evon for lunch! (: couldn't finish my food think due to the super milo.
went to herbal shop to buy bird nest for peiwen's mum. Evon kup with me.
brought lunch back for family, and off to meet peiwen under my void deck.
surprised me with balloons and cake! walked to her house, passed her mum the bird best.
chatted for like half an hour, and rushed home. Shower again due to the super hot sun.
suppose to reach the BBQ place at around 3pm, ended up 4.30pm then reach.
had a great fun over there, camwhore for like the whole day. I didn't expected that everyone turned up for my birthday, i was shock and i swear it's the best birthday
i ever had for this 18th years. for the bad part was i didn't celebrate
with my family at all for this first 18th years. Ton for the whole day and reached home at about 630am , shower and off to work without sleeping!
super cool, like a zombie working with eyes half closed. Tahan till 1pm and home!
reached home immediately fall asleep in my bed. Woke up at about 7pm.
had dinner, used computer and missing someone badly. lol, his bad didn't contact me.
but nevermind just fuck him will do, i knew outcome was like that. Who cares. LOL.

as for today 13th june, woke up at 1pm.
doing nothing, staring at my handphone, watching tv, and had cup noodles.
staring at the computer doing nothing, and there half of my day passed.
accompany mother to giant to buy some stuff and back home, had dinner.
used computer again, and off to meet Cynthia near her house there.
she had dinner at kfc and we was discussing about babyboy's and leelim's birthday.
don't really discuss anything, more to our own topic haha!
walked to Jastine's house, she wants to pass something to Cynthia.
walked back to bus stop and waited babyboy, a good girlfriend like me fetched him home.
send him back to sembawang mrt, and i trained home myself ):
all the way was half chatting with him on phone and sms-ing with leelim.
i regretted of doing something, now was really late to change anything.
sorry to those who i disappointed, for the next time it happen again. I promise, i'll be different.
off to sleep soon. Bye, and i know no more reader was reading.

i hate seeing people go back to the same person
who hurt them 1378562140 times.
thankful that i'm actually one of them -.-

.Thursday, June 9, 2011 ' 9:44 PM

I hate it when people bring up mistake
I made a long time ago.

early in the morning was being pulled up from bed by my parents.
prepared everything, fetch cousin from bukit batok and off to pasir ris.
brother was going to check in to army in tekong today.
although don't really talk to him, but his still my brother.
without seeing him at all, feel so damn uncomfortable.
first time taking ship ^^ super giddy, lucky didn't kena sea sick if not will be vomiting.
mother kept crying non-stop, can see that he don't bear my brother to leave too (:
sister later on cried too, haha. Actually i wanting to cry too, but just wanna keep face.
i stopped my tears from falling down, but actually i missed him a lot too.
bid goodbye to brother and all went off, dinner @ bukit batok.
reached home on computer and chatted with Jastine' darling while tearing away.
brother called back, his only 30plus kg and bag is 20 to 28kg already.
i really freaking don't know what more to say, i feel the pain there too.
hope to see brother back on 24th June (: counting down.

just because somebody flirts with you, doesn't mean they like you.
just because somebody likes you, doesn't mean they want to go out with you.
just because somebody wants to go out with you, doesn't mean that they love you.
just because somebody loves you, doesn't mean they won't hurt you.
because people lie, things change. Boyfriends cheat, best friends ditch.
and there are always going to be those people who would kill to see you fall.

beginnings are always scary, and endings are usually sad.
but it's everything in between that makes it all worth living.
if you are trapped between your feelings and what other people think is right,
always go for whatever makes you happy.
unless you want everybody to be happy except you.

letting go is something you do when you still love someone
but just don't believe in them anymore.

.Tuesday, June 7, 2011 ' 11:11 PM

Girls are like superheroes.
Who else can bleed for a week and not die? ;

started my new work as a admin executive (personal assistant).
was quite a hard job to me, manager expect me to able to close two case in a day.
whereby a lot of people was like not interested, already got agent.
i will be ask to leave after like few days if i haven close any cases.
trying to find my friend, cousin for help to buy insurance whereby deducting from only medisave.
no one wants to help, claim that no use. Touchwood who knows one day you might met with
an accident or touchwood dengue fever. People just assume they don't need any precaution.
i won't force them either, it's their freedom to choose what they want (:
suppose to work monday to wednesday, ended up only working on monday.
today and tomorrow not going work, lol. Seriously, i'm not interested in this work at all.
don't have the form of urge to go to work, like 8 hour calling customer without stopping .__.
think gonna find new job soon again, job come to mama please. i need you! ):

Funny how it works, people enter our lives when we least need it.
when we're already content, maybe even happy, with being alone.
they convince us that everyone needs a little company, so we let them in.
and when we least expect it, when we can't even fathom the idea of being alone.
they vanish, leaving us to find that same happy we were before they walked in.

if you leave without a reason, don't come back with an excuse.
if two people are meant to be together, they will eventually find their ways back
into each others arms, no matter what.
you're not supposed to look back, you're supposed to keep going.

and just when i think i'm over you.
you text me ...

.Wednesday, June 1, 2011 ' 11:22 PM

Give laugh to all but smile to one,
give love to all but heart to one,
give life to all but live for one.

the best part about being in a relationship:
it's knowing that you can turn to someone whenever you need them.
it's having someone to sleep next to, to hug and to kiss when your days seems bleak.
just those things alone can brighten up your day.
it's knowing that someone loves you back.
it's getting a call or text in the morning saying '' good morning babe ''.
it's knowing that people accept you for who you are.
then after you get to wake up while they're still asleep.
it's looking at them and remembering how lucky you are to have someone like them in your life.
those are the best part.

i wish i could explain to you how much i love you.
it's like my heart could burst any minute.
it's like the first day of school as a kid; weak knees, nerves going haywire, mind racing.
wanting to relieve all of the beautiful moments leading up to now.
it's so many things and it's strange to think that you feel that way too.
i'm lucky i fell in love with as beautiful of a person as you.
you're amazing, i love you.

i always thought that everything happens for a reason,
but later on i found out that sometimes reason are not enough
to explain why everything happened.